New Home, Part 1

Greetings faithful readers!  Your faithfulness in reading this past month has certainly not been met by an equal faithfulness by us in our posting, and for that we apologize.  However, I believe our absence is understandable in the changes of the last few months, changes that neither of us anticipated as recently as the first of this year.  I write this in a new town, in a new house, beside a new Chinese evergreen, with a new source of contentment, but shared with the same wonderful wife and the same thanksgiving to the same Giver of all good things for the love and help given by our collective families.

Our story goes back to mid-January, when my car was in need of a new fuel valve that put is out of commission for a couple days.  This issue was complicated by the fact that we both were commuting opposite directions and we had no alternative source of transportation.  Our crisis was averted due to the accommodation of my brother-in-law’s family, but it highlighted the tenuousness of our living situation, especially looking at future plans and goals.  Alex had been reading a great blog called MrMoneyMustache, which I highly recommend, and an article in it really convicted us about the cost our large commuting would have in the long term.  We both really loved our jobs, but two of the coworkers that Alex had worked with since she started moved on to other jobs, leaving her the most senior member of the team.  With their departure, Alex no longer felt the same strong ties to her job she felt before, and the opportunity was ripe for us to consider relocating.

Alex quickly found a job opening that was in a same “bedroom” community next to the city where I work, and she quickly fell in love with the position and location.  She accepted and we began house hunting.  The day of her interview, she had driven past a lovely house with a “For Sale” sign in the front yard, and the place quickly stood out to her.  We were able to schedule a viewing the following weekend with the owner, which we did after viewing four other homes with a real estate agent.  Alex’s dad actually texted after the last house with the real estate agent to see how things were going, and Alex responded with “Nothing has knocked of socks off yet.”  After viewing the house, Alex texted again, this time saying “Socks knocked off.”  

Problem solved, right?   Well, not really.  The house knocked our socks off, but the price stuck our socks right back on.  It took several conversations between ourselves, our parents, and our bank before we decided to place an offer on the house, an offer which was quickly turned down.  The owner gave us a counter proposal, but we had already discussed how much we were willing to pay, and while the gap between what we were willing to pay and what they were willing to sell for was in the end not all that big, I felt good walking away from the deal, happy knowing that we had a plan, we stuck to, and we hadn’t let temporary emotion overextend our resources. 

So we kept looking.  Nothing was looking like somewhere we saw ourselves.  I had started trying to come to grips with the idea that we were going to just have to accept that we weren’t going to get everything we wanted in a house, which felt really mature and wise.  I was comfortable enough with the idea that when the owner of the house we really wanted actually called us wanting to know if we still had any interest, I told him no.  The next day we went back to look at houses, this time with Alex’s parents to see what they thought.  We saw a new build that I originally had high hopes for, but quickly realized that there was a ton of hidden cost hidden in the package.  By the time we saw the next house, which was a perfectly nice house that the owners and done a wonderful job caring for, I was ready to shake hands right then and there.  Talking in the car later, I expressed this sentiment and my father-in-law quickly spoke up and said he thought we ought to really consider the house we really wanted again.

Now you have to understand something about my father-in-law: he doesn’t parse out advice in a freewheeling fashion.  He’ll let you come to your own conclusions and will really only intervene when he thinks you’re about to do something foolish.  So when he spoke up as quickly as he did, that made me rethink my position quite quickly.  Long and short of it is, we did call the owner of the house we really wanted back, negotiated a price we could both live with, and now I am sitting in our living room, listening to solo guitar as light streams through the window beside me, invigorating me and the Chinese evergreen.  We’ll have to tell you about the move and house upkeep next time, now I have to go get ready for a wedding.

For now, Omnia Vincit Amour!

Persecution

Back in college I (Arthur) served on the Interfraternity Council, which was in charge of making and enforcing rules for the university fraternities.  We worked closely with the Panhellenic Council, which made and enforced the rules of the university sororities, and shortly after election, the two councils met together for some team building exercises, so about 20 people total.

One such exercise was meant to give the members an idea of the diversity that existed among us.  To do this, a statement was read and we would walk to one end of the room or the other to indicate whether we agreed or disagreed with the statement.  This started off innocuously enough with statements like “I come from a big town” or “My major is in the college of arts and science” etc.  They became progressively more personal, but nothing that would raise an eyebrow, until something to the effect of “I would feel comfortable with a member of my fraternity/sorority bringing a member of the same sex as a date to one of our social functions.”  

There was a silence in the room as the group sorted itself out and everyone on the “agree” side of the room looked silently and me, standing alone on the “disagree” side.  It was awkward.  My pledge brothers (members of the fraternity I belong to, there were two of them serving alongside me) helpfully suggested that the reading could simply mean that two people were just coming as friends, but I was resolute.  A half second longer and I might have attempted a response, but the moderator, acting as mercifully as possible, moved on to the next question.  The whole incident lasted no more than 20 seconds, and I have spoken about it to no one since.

Why bring it up now, you ask?  Well, I’ve been thinking about persecution and what it means.  Some would want to say I experienced persecution in that moment, but frankly, I disagree.  I suffered no threats of violence or forfeiture of property as a result of that moment.  Afterwards, I continued to enjoy good rapport with members of the council, I retained my ability to influence policy on the council and partook of all the benefits and responsibilities of my office.  I wonder if anyone in that room besides myself even remembers it.  

Some might not like it, but my experience was about as idyllic as possible.  As Christians, we believe our values are not likely to be shared by the majority, but that given fair standing in the marketplace of ideas we can still call out to those who have ears to hear, positively influence our culture, and advance the Kingdom.  You cannot say you love democracy or you love personal freedom while not being okay with living in a society you will sometimes disagree with.  If you are going to hold to a worldview that runs contrary to mankind's base nature and desires, as Christianity does, you are frankly going to have to be okay with being a minority voice the majority of the time.  Special deference to a particular worldview may only be earned through respect garnered by the society at large at a cultural level and not a legal one; otherwise, you have an authoritarian state. 

What I experienced was an exchange in the marketplace, imperfect as that exchange might have been.  We were asked a question I would have loved to have had 5 minutes to respond to, but was instead given only the choice of “agree” or “disagree,” the same as everyone else.  Given freedom to craft individual responses, I imagine no two people would have responded exactly the same. 

How could the exchange have transpired more fairly?  If the 19 other people felt they agreed more than they disagreed with the statement and they felt pressure not to say so, then we don’t have a fair marketplace and ideas are not freely expressed.  If they did disagree, but they only disagree because of the influence of a Christianized culture apart from a relationship with God, then they are no better off than they are now; perhaps even worse.  Nor is the church better off.  If it is merely culture influencing their view aside from the direct influence of the Holy Spirit, their thinking will likely move from a godly denouncement of all that stands in the way of their fellow man’s communion with God, to a thoroughly ungodly rejection of the people Jesus came to save. 

Events of the past year have had me thinking a lot about self-fulfilling prophecy, the idea that you make something happen by believing it will happen.  The schoolboy thinks he will fail a class no matter what he does; consequently, he doesn't apply any effort and fails, exactly like he expected.  Let us be careful lest, believing the world will treat us unfairly, we justify treating others unfairly, causing the world to push back and thus affirm our belief.

Let us also be careful that we recognize an attack on freedom of any religion is an attack on our religious freedom.  While we wring our hands when someone says “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”, women wearing hijabs as an expression of their beliefs face sneers and accusations of harboring terrorists.  While we wait with bated breath to find out who a baker is or is not required to serve, second generation Americans are accused of stealing jobs from “real Americans.”  While we fret about what private Christian schools have to teach and who they have to admit in order to receive federal money, administrators at Jewish community centers wonder whether the latest bomb threat is for real.  While we fear the waning impact of our beliefs in the culture, our fellow men tarry under the threat of violence and destruction of property.  

Whatever legitimate causes for concern we in the American church face, we are nuts if we think we have it worse off than religious minorities living beside us.  In respecting the rights of others, we in turn garner their respect, ensuring our continued respect and impact.  We expect denouncements from Muslim groups for the actions of their most radical fringes; the silence in Christian media over the plight of these minority groups is deafening and heartbreaking.  

Let us love one another.  Radical love means pronouncing truth, but it also displaces fear and anger.  If our love is not changing the world, instead of blaming the world, maybe we should examine our capacity for love.  Omnai Vincit Amour.

Two Weeks Notice

For Valentines' Day my request was that our Saturday movie night include Two Weeks Notice which just came up on Netflix.  This movie has always been a favorite of my mom and myself and I also found out that Arthur's "first date" with a girl to watch a movie was to see this chick flick in the 8th Grade.  He remember nothing about the movie and was even willing to give it another chance.  I am a fan of Sandra Bullock and Arthur loved Hugh Grant and his comedic timing.  It might be the first romantic comedy we have watched together that we both enjoyed.

The themes of the movie, real estate and jobs, are two common themes in our lives right now.  I gave notice of my resignation a few weeks ago from my current job and will finish in this week.  I have been at my current job just over 3 1/2 years.  Where has that time gone?  When I took this job Arthur was driving one direction and I was driving the other and we decided to live in the middle.  This situation has worked out surprisingly well most of the time.  However we didn't want to commute forever and have been on the lookout for other possibilities.

While I have been on the lookout for job possibilities over the past year my plans for 2017 at the beginning of January were not to start a new job, to move to a new town, or buy a home, but that quickly has set the tone for this year.  We will be moving to Wamego sometime in the near future.  I will be a PT at the hospital.  My job will be relatively the same as what I am doing now but I will also be part of the Sports Medicine program at the hospital working with area high schools which I am really excited about.  Wamego is about 15 miles east of Manhattan so it will actually be a shorter commute for Arthur and my commute will be just a few blocks.

One of my favorite quotes from Two Weeks Notice is when the character George Wade says, "I own the hotel, and I live there.  My life is very much like Monopoly."  I never really enjoyed playing Monopoly as a kid, probably because my younger brother was a cheater and would stash extra cash from the bank underneath the sofa if we ever stepped away from the game for a break.  However, right now it does seem like life is like Monopoly.  "Do we buy the property on Parkview or Walnut?"  "What is our return on investment with this house?"  "What is the property tax and appraised value?"  These all seem to be common phrases around our dinner table but we will share more about real estate later. With all of these changes there is a lot of "adulting" going on.  Adulting is the act of being a grown up and doing the unfavorable things grown ups have to do.  I suppose as we turn the corner to entering our third decade of life this spike of adulting is a farewell to the footloose and fancy free twenties. Omnia Vincit Amor.