O Christmas Tree

Our last blog post was about our faulty, fake Christmas tree that crashed to the floor taking with it all of our heirloom ornaments.  This post will extol the virtues of real, live Christmas trees.  Real Christmas trees are something that I (Alex) am very passionate about and also almost ruined my relationship with Arthur before it began.  (In case you have been worried, our Christmas tree has not toppled again yet so Arthur’s books are doing the job.)

Throughout high school and college I worked at a Christmas tree farm during the summer.  My job on the summer trimming crew was carefully shaping the top of each tree with an artistic touch to give it the pointed top and ensure there was a branch (a leader) growing upwards to place the angel or star on.  Pine trees do not naturally grow to look like a slender Christmas tree, especially Scotch pines which are grown in Kansas.  Working in the summer was hot and muggy among the pine trees—through this experience I decided that 7 years of school was worth it to get out of manual labor and working outside.  I usually smelled of bug spray, sun screen, sweat, Zep (the non-stick spray we use on the shears), and pine sap.  During the Christmas season I would help out in the office as a sales clerk and making sure everyone got hot apple cider and candy canes.

 In my public speaking class during college I submitted an outline for my final speech about the benefits of real Christmas trees over artificial trees.  I had a ton of good information and thought the topic was timely since it was December.  My instructor did not think the speech was relevant for my audience and had me redo the outline and my speech.  I ended up doing my speech on polio (how relevant is a disease that has been eradicated in our country for decades?) and did fairly well.  I still might be slightly bitter about not getting to spread my knowledge about real Christmas trees to the masses, especially when a classmate had a speech was about the Dixie Chicks-- talk about relevancy to real life.  It was also slightly ironic that of the 20 people in my class I knew one girl since her family came to the Christmas tree farm every year to pick out a tree.  Every summer while trimming trees there are classic stories that are retold over and over-- we have to keep ourselves entertained somehow-- so it is usually requested that I tell the story of the lame speech instructor who hates Christmas and the whole crew gets riled up.

A few years later Arthur and I were both accepted into an honorary group during college.  This was really the first time we had meet and about 2 years before we started dating.  At the induction ceremony the icebreaker for the introduction was to share something interesting about yourself.  I shared that my summer job is working at a Christmas tree farm which I thought was rather unique and interesting.  In the row behind me some smart aleck guy made a comment that business is probably pretty bad at a Christmas tree farm in July.  This wise-guy was obviously ignorant about the Christmas tree farming industry and all the work throughout the year it takes to produce a single Christmas tree in December.  (Yet another college student who would have benefited from my speech.)  They say first impressions are important.  Let’s just say that Arthur’s comment didn’t make a good first impression when he insulted my livelihood.  Maybe that’s why I wouldn’t date him for another two years.  I suppose it is good that I don’t hold grudges (it is okay if you laughed at that) and he has charm and good looks or we probably wouldn’t be married today.  Omnia Vincit Amor.