Wicked!

Over the past decade the term "bucket list" has become fairly mainstream.  A bucket list is a list of things a person wants to during his or her life before death, or when he or she "kicks the bucket".  My view of a bucket list is different than life goals.  Goals are top priorities while bucket list items are more experiences that enrich life.  These may include learning a new skill, completing a task, traveling or going on adventures, etc.  Seeing the musical Wicked has been pretty high up on Arthur's bucket list for several years and we finally checked it off over Valentine's weekend.

Knowing that Arthur has wanted to see this musical I have been checking the national tour schedule for about 3 years to see if it was coming to a city near the middle of Kansas. It did stop in Wichita while we were college students but Arthur decided not to go because the cost of tickets was fairly prohibitive to a college student's budget.  Finally, in November I saw that they would be performing in Springfield, MO so we purchased tickets and decided to make a weekend of it.  My younger brother and his wife, who happens to be a Wicked fanatic like Arthur, joined us for the trip too.

Our first stop in Springfield was eating lunch at Lambert's-- an eating establishment famous for large quantities of home-style Southern food and throwing rolls around the restaurant.  It's a popular stop and at 2:30pm we had a 45 minute wait to get a table.  We each decided to each order something a little different and then share-- chicken fried steak, hamburger steak, and BBQ pork sandwiches.  In addition to the main dishes they would pass around sides such as black eye peas and fried potatoes and toss the famous rolls whenever there was the need for additional carbohydrates.  The food was not served on plates but large skillets.  We all got plenty to eat and then some.  Everything was delicious, except for the turnip greens Arthur ordered.  He cannot pass up an opportunity to try new and exotic foods, but on this occasion, it backfired.

After we were stuffed to the gills, we made the Bass Pro Shop our next stop.  The only person in our group to even own a fishing license is my younger brother who has possibly caught one or two fish.  We are not hardcore anglers and skipped the main section of the store with lures, lines, poles, and bait.  Instead we checked out the displays of real fish and stuffed wildlife.  I perused the hiking and camping gear.  By this time the comfort food from lunch was having an affect causing extreme drowsiness so we made our way to the hotel for a much needed nap before partaking in the arts that evening.

(Arthur writing) The evenings entertainment was all we could want and more; truly worthy of its place on a bucket list.  For anyone who has never seen a professional musical show, it is hard to understand how seeing a spectacle like a live performance could be so more compelling than a movie, but my goodness!  There is so much to take in, so much to appreciate.  Theater must compensate for filling a room with people a varying distances and angles, and the methods involved in acting, costume, stage design, acoustics, and choreography all are adjusted accordingly, resulting in spectacular results.  It was a delight both as an engineer thinking about form and function and as a lover of the arts.  The music was extraordinary, especially the powerful "Defying Gravity."  The story is one that engaged me completely.  I don' know if I've completely thought through all the wondrous things we saw yet.

(Back to Alex) On Sunday morning we snoozed in a little and then head back home.  Another highlight of going to Springfield is that my grandmother only lives an hour away so her house was an easy stop.  Since my grandma lives in southwest Missouri we only get down to see her about once a year.  She had celebrated her 94th birthday early that week so we visited with her about what she did to celebrate.  Also, my grandmother is quite a gardener and while she can't get out in her garden much she still loves flowers.  She had 5 or 6 flower arrangements or blooming houseplants that she had received as gifts.  We talked about her time in college at K-State and meeting my grandfather.  We then ventured into politics and finance-- two of my grandmother's favorite topics.

Our trip was a great weekend getaway and we really enjoyed spending time and sharing the experience with my brother and sister-in-law.  The Monday after our trip we found out that Wicked was coming to Wichita- a mere 90 minute drive. (We highly recommend it to our readership in the central Kansas area.)  Oh well, it was well worth the travel time for the experience.  Omnia Vincit Amor.

A glimpse of our randomness

As bloggers we already share a lot of our lives but usually it is just the highlights or the mundane with a little bit of spit shine.  This post is a conversation we had a few nights ago-- to the best that we can remember which gives a good glimpse of what life is really like around here.

Setting:  It was bedtime and we were just settling down to some reading in bed, with  Arthur reading an Anatomy and Physiology textbook and Alex reading a daily devotion out of Psalms.

Arthur: Wow.  Muscle cells can be up to 30 centimeters in length.

Alex:  37 meters? That can't be right.

Arthur:  No, centimeters not thirty seven meters.

We continued reading and Alex hastily got up and left the room.  A few minutes later Arthur enters the kitchen for a glass of water and finds Alex wearing a bathroom digging in the trash.

Arthur (with chuckling): What in the world are you doing?  I'm glad I walked in here to witness this.

Alex (with slight frustration as she continues to dig):  I'm looking for a hummingbird.

Arthur: A hummingbird?  It's past 10pm, why are you doing this now?

Alex:  I had a patient give me this (holding up a small glass trinket).  There is a hummingbird that broke off the edge.  I threw it away since I don't need more knick-knacks.  But then as I was reading my passage in Psalms it talked about having a clear conscience and if he asks me about it I can't lie.  So I'm trying to find it and I'll keep it until he's no longer my patient.

The hummingbird was located and we were curled up in bed again.

  Alex:  Aren't you glad you have such a trustworthy wife who has such a guilty conscience about small things that she couldn't even sleep.

Arthur: Yes. (A few seconds pass)  So what do you really think of the green sweater I got you for Christmas a few years ago.

Alex feels slightly uncomfortable with this question and begins to squirm (literally).  Arthur throws a large arm over her to wrap her into bear hug.

Alex: This must be what it feels like to be attacked by a large squid in your sleep.

Finally we were able to slip into a peacefully slumber as wrongs about a hummingbird were made right and deep dark secrets about a green sweater were revealed.  Omnia Vincit Amor. 

Ski Trip

We are taking a quick break for the story of our dating relationship to share a few trips and adventures we have taken this winter.  Here is Arthur's account of his first ski trip.

Several men from our church have, for the past several years, gone out to Breckingridge for five days of skiing and fellowship.  I had been invited to go the past two years, but for this or that reason, had always turned them down.  Finally, my lovely wife basically insisted that I needed to take the opportunity to get to know the men of our church better, she needed a weekend to spend with her friends, and we needed material for another blog post, so I was going.

I had never been skiing before and really had no idea what I was in for.  I did want to show up prepared, and this prompted an extensive workout program designed by my personal trainer (Alex), so I thought whatever I lacked in natural acumen would be at least partially compensated.  I would say this was roughly accurate; it does take a certain amount of effort to get up after crashing on skies, especially at elevation, and my cardio did allow me to get up quicker and put in more repetitions.

On our first day out there, I took ski lessons.  We spent the majority of the day working on a little hill that probably rose about 12 feet over a 30 foot distance with a "magic carpet," basically a long treadmill, to take you back to the top.  Over the course of the morning, I was able to keep myself upright, but I never could get myself stopped before the bottom of the hill and I couldn't get myself to turn in any meaningful way, so they decided that it was time to go up one of the ski lifts.  This might seem odd, and I'm tempted to toss out the baby bird being pushed out of the nest analogy, but the problem with said analogy is that the birds who don't fly die.

Well, I didn't die, but I definitely was lacking in control.  I got to where I could kinda sorta turn, but I still couldn't slow down.  So most of my attempts involved me doing okay while I was building up speed until I was going so fast my best option was falling down before I hurt myself or someone else.  At one point, I got a pretty good turn in, except I overdid it and skied backwards about 40 yards before getting getting myself stopped (much to the delight of some six year old twerps who could ski circles around me.)  At another point, I crashed into a ski fence.  They had built up a nice steep back next to the fence to help slow you down.  I was coming in hot enough that I actually got airborne and just about cleared the fence.  It performed an excellent ankle tackle, and had it not, I might have skied all the way back to Kansas! 

I was pretty sore after that first day, and pretty sure that skiing was going to end up in that category of things that I'm just never going to be able to do very well.  I resolved to go back to the training area tomorrow and hopefully get competent enough that I didn't kill myself or anyone else trying to ski back in at the end of the day.  Much to my surprise, when I went back to the small hill we had been working on the previous day, I could turn with ease.  I hadn't taken five runs before deciding if I wanted to get better, I'd have to ride the ski lift up to the green we had spent the previous afternoon.

Things went a lot better.  One of the guys in our group really took me under his wing, and under his patient tutelage, I got to the point where I skied down a green without falling over once, an achievement I thought unattainable the previous day.  I was still taking it really slow, but I could not turn at will, and I took a lot of turns to keep my speed down.  There were times I'd do something that felt really athletic and I felt like I belonged up there.

The next day, I more or less spent the morning by myself.  I wanted to be able to check off all the greens nearby, but by now they were cake.  If I wanted to get better, it meant going on some blues.  So in the afternoon, two of the guys in the group and I headed off.  Initially, some of the inclines were steep enough that I found myself saying some Hail Marys, and this despite the fact I am neither Catholic and have always believe we have direct access to the throne of grace through the atoning work of Jesus (just had to get that in lest any of our Protestant readers raise an eyebrow at that last comment.  Of course, now I'm in hot water with our strong Catholic constituency.)  I actually handled them pretty well, however, and had an overall wonderful time.

And that was pretty much it for the trip.  Some of you might be wondering how spending time with the guys went.  It was really good building up those relationships, but the skiing is a lot more fun to write about, so that's all you get.  As Alex has already written, she had a wonderful time with her friends while I was gone, so the trip was a complete success.  Omnia Vincit Amour.

April Fools-- Our first few dates

 While many associate April 1 with April Fool's Day and practical jokes, it is actually the anniversary of our first "date".  When Arthur called me up to ask me out I told him he would have to wait about week since I was studying for my board exams.  The day after the test was April 1, my first free day from studying, so we agreed to meet then for ice cream.  I about had second thoughts and had cold feet about going down to meet Arthur for the date but that would have been a cruel joke.  After all it was just one date- how bad could it be?  We ate ice cream, walked around campus talking, and wound up at the campus art museum.  As we perused the exhibits we tried to guess the name of each piece without looking at the name plate-- our percentage was very low.

A few weeks later we were on an outing on the local bike trail.  While we were riding along somehow the conversation lead Arthur to think it was a great time to give me a personality test.  The test included three questions.  What is your favorite animal and why?  What is your favorite natural phenomenon and why? And what is your favorite color and why?

This story focuses around the first question. Arthur asked me and I replied that I like moose because they are gangly and awkward, big, and graceful in the water.  But I have commitment issues and then changed my favorite animal to a wildebeest-- I like to cover all my bases with multiple answers.  Arthur then answered the question with a border collie because they are eager to please, obedient, and loyal.  I then asked Arthur what this question had to do with personality.  Arthur answered that the answer to your favorite animal is what you are looking for in a spouse.  At this point I'm pretty sure I turned white as a sheet or blushed- I'm not sure which.  With my answer of a moose I had basically described Arthur to a tee.  Arthur is a big guy, he is a little awkward and gangly when he tries to skip.  However, he is very athletic and was doing a lot of swimming at that time to prepare for his summer job as a lifeguard.  According to this test he was my perfect match and that terrified me at that time.  On the flip side it also scared me a little that he was looking for a "border collie" wife.  Someone who would by obedient and quick to follow his every command, who would heel right by his side wherever he went, and a gal that would fall all over herself trying to please him.  Well, that sure wasn't me.  If that is what he wants than this guy just needs to keep looking.

Interesting side story: this personality test is one that Arthur loves to give to all his friends, and it has been amazingly accurate in predicting comparability.   One friend however, gave a very memorable answer to this question: when asked what his favorite animal was, he responded with a cow.  This is hilarious enough in itself, but when he described why it get even better; he liked cows because they are "tasty, stupid, and easy to control."  This particular friend happens to still be in the market if any of you single ladies out there are interested.

Several months later we talked about this conversation again.  One reason I had been hesitant to really start dating Arthur was that he wanted a "border collie" wife.  In this later conversation I explained my feelings about this and he laughed.  He pointed out that I was only remembering part of his answer on that fateful bike ride.  His version of the answer was that border collies are incredibly intelligent, very hard workers, but also very playful in addition to loyal, obedient, and eager to please.  At that point my thought was, "Oh shoot, maybe I am little bit of a border collie."  Of course the rest of the story is history.  I married my moose and Arthur got his version of a border collie wife.  I'm pretty sure all the research and data collected by eHarmony isn't as accurate as Arthur's personality test question on this very early date to predict future matrimony.  Despite Alex's initial hesitation, Omnia Vincit Amor. 

A Brief Moment of Insanity

Here's the next installment of our dating story:

Over the years Arthur and I spent a lot of time talking on phone since we were in a long-distance relationship.  We spent hours talking on the phone at 9pm every night sharing the day’s activities and shooting the breeze with ease.  However there was no ease to be found with our first phone call.  One evening I was peacefully studying at my desk when my world suddenly turned upside down.  My cell phone rings and Arthur is on the other end.  He had a well-rehearsed spiel about he had enjoyed going to formal a few weeks before and was wondering if I would be interested in “intentionally hanging out” with him.  I told him I would be interested in doing so.  At this point Arthur was caught off guard as he had not rehearsed what to do if I happened to say yes.  We decided on a date—it would just have to be about 2 weeks away since my academic life was in chaos with studying for a comprehensive test of everything I learned in the past 4 years to get my certification.  We agreed to get ice cream and “hang out”.  Completely harmless right?  After I hung up with Arthur I called my mom and was almost in hysterics since in a brief moment of insanity I had told a boy that I would “hang out” with him.  I had never done this before and didn’t know what the long term implications might be.  My mother tried to calm me down, assuring me that one date would not be the end of the world and wasn’t any long term commitment—just a date.  Little did she know.

Our First Formal

So here is our first stop in the retelling of "our before the ring story" while we were dating.  Technically for this event we were not dating and not really even a couple but hindsight is 20/20.  It was one of our first interactions together one-on-one and we learned some key things about one another.  Every relationship has to start somewhere.  It just happens that ours started in the midst of getting hopelessly lost in downtown Kansas City.   So here is Arthur's retelling of the story:

One of our first dates, though it is only a first date in retrospect, was when I took Alex to a fraternity formal.  I say first date in retrospect because it carried with it no expectation of developing into a relationship; and while I (Arthur) was definitely checking in to what kind of person Alex was, Alex was more interested in checking out all of my other fraternity brothers. Our evening began with several of my fraternity brothers and I making dinner for Alex and the other dates.   I honestly can’t remember what we prepared we definitely put a lot of effort into impressing the young ladies. 

To what extent we succeeded (Alex just informed me that it was all right) I probably lost some ground when I missed the road getting out of town (twice).  We departed from our college town to Kansas City traveling with another couple and had a very enjoyable time chatting and getting to know each other.  Once we got to our destination I let Alex off in front of the building where the formal was and went to park the car.  Due to some poor navigation it was another half hour before I rejoined her (Giving Alex plenty of time to scout out the other gentlemen and wonder where in the world her date went and if he was coming back.)  I did eventually return and once again we had a wonderful time.  That first formal was an interesting one because we didn’t quite know how to interact with one another, hence, Alex seemed to want to dance to every song and I obliged even though it might not necessarily have been my cup of tea. 

When the night was through the adventure had not yet ended; I was not quite sure how to escape downtown Kansas City.  It should probably be noted at this point that my fraternity brother in the back seat was supposed to be in charge of navigation, but the driver always gets blamed for everything.  Regardless of blame, our merry party was soon heading towards a rougher section of town and Alex was having none of that. She whipped out the atlas and soon had us safely headed towards home.  And again the conversation along the way was very enjoyable.  

Alex’s editorial comments:  Alex had been lost in Kansas City a few times before with different groups and knew enough to know that there were certain areas you did not want to find yourself in at midnight.  As the men of the party were discussing that maybe they should turn east into this area of town she decided that it was not a good time to sit back but maybe someone with some navigational skills should step in so she did—she has a tendency to be a control freak at times.  She was able to navigate them to the only part of KC she was familiar with and get them back on the interstate headed in the right direction.  At that point she could relax since the vehicle was headed home.  About 20 minutes later, Arthur looked over and asked if they had found I-70 yet.  This was just the beginning of an understanding of Arthur’s struggles with navigation.  It was also very entertaining for Alex to retell this story to her parents the next day.  Her dad got quite the kick out of it.  Little did he know that in a few years he would be giving his only daughter to this "navigationally challenged" guy to love and protect for life. 

Whatever we talked about along the way, it was apparently good enough to trump all these navigational errors because about a week later when Arthur asked Alex if they could start “hanging out intentionally” she agreed. A few months later Alex moved to KC so Arthur came and visited her several times-- Alex always praying that he would be able to find her place or his way back out of the city again.  It just goes to show once again that love conquers all and that Alex always navigates. Omnia Vincit Amor.

Vows

Arthur and I have live in our current locale about 2 ½ years now.  Just a short time ago I finally hung the last frame on the wall that has been sitting on the floor since we moved in.  I figured since I had dusted it several times and was getting tired of vacuuming around it on the floor I should get it up on the wall.  The problem was that I wanted to print copies of our wedding vows to hang in the frame.  First I couldn’t find the file they were saved in on my computer or I couldn’t remember if they were just tucked in some email somewhere and not actually a Word document.  Once I located the files then we went through the process of switching laptops and all the files had to be transferred.  My next hurdle was that the new laptop doesn’t work with the printer.  Does this sound like anyone else’s projects?  Once I got all the pieces together it took 10 minutes to put it in the frame and hang it on the wall.  And I love it.  Arthur and I wrote our own vows (completely his idea but I am glad he talked me into it now).  Every so often as I rush by the frame I will take a moment to read those promises and reflect on the covenant we made with one another.  As hard as it was for me to write the vows, did I realize how hard to would be to live out those words in the day to day grind? To show patience and forgiveness, to love unconditionally, to accept faults and strengths.   We were young, in love, and had no idea what we were saying.  A few years later we are still young, in love, and only slightly better understand to what we were committing.   Occasionally we will joke, “Let me check to see if that was covered in the vows” or “I better refer to the vows before I make my decision.”  

Recently in looking back at older blog posts I realized that our marriage has been fairly well documented but we haven’t included much about what brought us together to the point of exchanging vows.  With Valentine’s Day around the corner and the winter being rather slow as far as blog topics I am planning a series of posts that shares the highlights of the dating years of our love story.  It will probably never become a Nicholas Sparks novel or the plot for a dramatic romance movie, although several items could be used for material on The Big Bang Theory.  Omnia Vincit Amor.