Sloppy Joe Saga

Tonight we had sloppy joes for dinner.  I dislike sloppy joes. A lot.  And I don't think sloppy joes will ever be served again in our household.  (Starting after we finish the leftovers in the fridge.)  As a kid, I (Alex) never liked sloppy joes and usually avoided eating them when I could.  And now that I am in charge of calling the shots for meal planning, shopping, and cooking, one would think I wouldn't have too.  However, there is this one can of sloppy joe sauce that has ended up in my pantry.  I am sure that my well-meaning mother sent it with me to school in Kansas City so that I would have supplies for an easy meal.  The one thing sloppy joes have going for them is that it was pretty easy to fix.  This can got pushed to the back of my pantry and stayed there since I don't like sloppy joes.  I then moved and this can went home with me and all my stuff.  I then spent several weeks on a clinical living in an empty house so my mother sent me off on this journey with some food so at least I would have something to eat and this can went with me.  Of course, I had more than enough food so I never ate sloppy joes and this can moved back home with me once again.  I then moved into a place of my own when we got married so this sloppy joe sauce made that trip as well.

And it has sat in our cabinet to this day.  I finally got tired of moving this particular can and decided this afternoon to bite the bullet and make sloppy joes.  I had several projects going on around the house and had just browned a few pounds of ground beef so sloppy joes was the easy answer for dinner.  Arthur got home from work and asked what smelled so delicious for dinner (he's pretty good at earning those husband points).  I told him we were having sloppy joes since I dragged this can of sauce all over the state for the past year and was plum tired of it being in pantry and my life.  Surely I was remembering sloppy joes as worse than they really are.  Sadly I wasn't.  Arthur and I sat down to dinner and I ate everything else on my plate until all that was left was the sloppy joe staring back at me.  I took a few bites hoping each would be better than the last.  I then wished that the bites would make the half eaten sandwich disappear faster.  By this time Arthur was finished eating and starting on the dishes.  The next bite caused my gag reflex to kick in.  Now Arthur was thoroughly enjoying himself watching me struggle.  He then started to cheer, Alex, Alex, Alex.  I asked for another glass of milk to help wash it down with.  At some point we looked at the can and saw that it is advertised to contain a full serving of vegetables.  Arthur then questioned why I served him carrot sticks if he was already getting a full serving of veggies.  Maybe what I told my parents all along is true that I have adverse reactions too large doses of veggies causing my throat to close up.  Finally, after about 25 minutes that seemed like an eternity, the last bite of sloppy joe was swallowed and my plate was clean.  At least until we have left over sloppy joes.  Omnia Vincit Amor. 

Lessons I have learned living with a guy

Over the past several years I have lived the life of a single young female adult.  One aspect of this lifestyle is having roommates.  I have gotten to live with a bunch of great women and now all of a sudden I find myself married.  This put an end of my "single" lifestyle which means I now have a permanent roommate who happens to be a guy.  Thank goodness I wasn't completely caught off guard since I have had previous experience living with guys since I grew up with two brothers.  However, it is still a little bit of an adjustment.  In college I lived in an all-female dorm for 4 years.  At times there was a lot of drama but also a lot of giggling and fun.  Another summer I worked at a camp and share 1 room filled with bunk beds with 14 other gals-- lots of female bonding there as well.  After so many years of living with ladies, here are the lessons and observations I have compiled from several weeks of living with Arthur.

1. Guys require much less time in the bathroom.  Significantly less.  Arthur can shower in less than a minute.  By the time I get ready in the morning (and I like to think that I am fairly quick for a female) he has showered, dressed, gotten ready for work, and has breakfast on the table.  They also have less bathroom stuff.  I put my stuff in a drawer and 2 shelves of the bathroom.  I worried about him having enough storage for his bathroom stuff.  I didn't realize that the few items he had on the counter were all he had.

2. Guys require more food.  Arthur has been amazed by my portion sizes and I have been amazed by the amounts he can consume without ill effects.  While we were dating I once prepared him lunch of a can of soup.  That was it.  It would have been a very satisfactory meal for my roommate and I but I don't think it made a dent in his hunger.  I think I have now figured out how to set enough on the table to satisfy his hunger (at least that is what he is telling me but we are newly married still so he may not be completely honest about my cooking yet.)

3. Guys like to drive.  This has been wonderful.  He opens the door for me, gets in, and then whisks me off to our destination.  It could be that he likes driving his car so much he likes to hog it.  I appreciate it since I am not a huge fan of driving and I can also take a nap.  My job is co-pilot.  I provide snacks, entertainment, and navigation skills.  It works best for both of us.

4. Guys respond well when requests are preceded with a kiss.  This was a trick Arthur taught me early and it has worked well.  Anytime I give directions or ask for something (basically when I am bossy, usually this is in the kitchen) I need to give him a quick kiss first.  He is becoming some of the best kitchen help around.

5. Don't make big plans on Thursday evenings.  Sport Illustrated arrives on Thursdays.  Often after dinner Arthur will grab the magazine and wander downstairs to his man-cave and be happy for hours.  (In all honesty, I usually get to read Sports Illustrated at lunch on Thursdays at work so we don't have to fight over one copy.)

6. Guys get really excited about protecting their home from intruders.  It has been interesting to see our different views on home security.  I have lived in Kansas City or in random other places alone for the past several years.  Anytime my mother calls I am always asked if the doors are locked, etc.  So this is just a habit I have gotten into.  Arthur doesn't worry so much about locking doors, especially before I started living with him.  I think he would almost leave the door open with an invitation so he could beat up anyone who tried to enter his domain.  I think he also takes great pride in investigating any unusual noises.

7.  While guys are thrilled to be protectors, they also relish in the sneak attack.  Only a few times in college did random people jump out of my clothes at me or did I get shot with a nerf gun while brushing my teeth.  Now, though, I'm never sure if he is hiding behind the door or camouflaged under the comforter on the bed just waiting for me, unsuspecting prey, to wander by.

8.  Guys have a certain large-ness.  Arthur's clothes are much bigger than mine so they fill up the laundry basket faster than I would expect.  He has a larger appetite (see #2).  This requires frequent snacking as well.  Guys take up more space.  I'm not sure our bed is split 50-50 but at least I haven't been rolled over the edge yet.  Arthur just doesn't fit in my car very well.  He almost has to open the sunroof so there is space for his head.  When we run together his stride is twice as long as mine so I have to take so many more steps (I suppose this is how the shorter girls I use to run against felt.)  When we bought our wedding rings we had a hard time finding the correct sizes since my fingers are pretty small and Arthur has thick, "man-hands".

9. Guys are strong.  I have come to realize that just because I'm sitting on the couch doesn't mean Arthur won't come along and decide that I need to be moved elsewhere, such as another seat on the couch, and there is not much I can do about it.  Parents sometimes talk about how controlling their kids becomes a little more challenging when they grow and they can't pick them up or move them by physical force.  Arthur doesn't have that problem.  If I am being stubborn or a little ornery he just moves me out of the way.  I think this is a very unfair advantage, however he may be able to get me to do what he wants with brute strength, I get him to do what I want with smooches (see #4), so it all works out.

10.  Guys are a lot of fun to live with, or at least mine is.  Everyday he surprises with something... breaking out in random snatches of song, dancing to rap music in the kitchen, making breakfast for me even when he has to leave for work early.  While I'm sure there will continue to be more lessons to learn about living with this guy, it is never a bore.  Somethings I just don't understand, but after all, Omnia Vincit Amor.

The Word

Every week the church we are going to reads 2 Timothy 3:16-17 before the sermon:

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. 

So far each week it has been in a different translation and so far this has been one of my (Alex's) favorite parts of the service.  What a great reminder that Scripture is living and active today.  It is useful and applicable in our lives.  It encourages or, as my high school Bible study leaders put it, it can step on your toes sometimes when you need it.  Scripture is some powerful stuff.

At times we may underestimate the power of being in God's Word consistently.  To borrow an analogy from Sunday's sermon, think of a slow, steady drip of water pouring over a rock that over the years wears the rock into a shallow basin.  Sudden torrents of water would just rush over the top of the rock, but a slow drip makes slow changes in the rock's surface.  I thought this was a great reminder that "torrential" experiences don't have the impact to change our rock-hard hearts that way constant exposure to the Word does.  Sometimes I wish I could soak up everything from a Bible study or sermon series all at once.  One thing Arthur has learned about me that probably drives him nuts is if I have a mission or a project I like to go at it full speed ahead.

In the past I have tried to read the Bible in a year.  That is all fine and good but what did I miss since I had to get my 4.7 chapters of reading in everyday?  I am happy to announce this year I am only on the reading for July 14th-- a whole 2 months behind.  Truthfully, I am not behind because I was taking a lot of time to meditate on passages in 2 Chronicles, but I haven't let my falling behind bother me.  I once read an article about if we read the Bible in a lifetime instead of a year.  After all there isn't deadlines or quotas on the number of pages you have to turn.  This article suggested taking one book at a time and reading through that book multiple times so the story becomes very familiar and you can catch more of the details, context, and themes.  After all we shouldn't be in a rush with God's Word, He will continue to use it to shape us and mold us throughout a lifetime.

This lead to me spending 2 months studying 1 Timothy.  1 Timothy only has 6 chapters and it took me 2 months.  But I found something new the 3rd time I read it, gained a different perspective the 7th time, was challenged by something in my life the 16th time I read those words, and had an idea for a ministry opportunity the 19th time.  That slow drip of God's Word continually carving out my heart of stone or as The Message translates 2 Timoty 3:17:  Through the word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us.  Omnia Vincit Amor.

"Squirrel!"

One strange way we interact (yes, there are several) is the exchange of new expressions and terms that came about through a mutual love of Dug, the golden retriever from UP.  If you haven’t seen UP you are really missing out, but to give you some context about what we are talking about, UP is the story of a gruff older man named Carl who fills his house with balloons so he can float his house to Paradise Falls, South America (it’s like America... but south) to fulfill a promise to his late wife.  He is accompanied by the stowaway wildlife adventurer, Russell, a 10 year old kid who  needs to help the elderly to obtain a merit badge.  More important than achieving the goals they set out for is their need to fill the gaps in their lives; Carl, the gap left vacant by the passing of his beloved life, and Russell, the gap left by the absence of his father.

You may be thinking at this point that this is a heart-warming Hallmark movie but instead this is a Pixar comedy (although the first 8 minutes are a real tear-jerker).  The light side of the story is provided by Dug and Kevin.  Dug is a dog with a voice collar on a special mission tracking Kevin, the exotic bird which is the object of Dug’s special mission.  If you have ever wondered what is going on inside the head of man’s best friend, the fellows at Pixar definitely made a good stab at it. Quotes from Dug have become a staple around our house. 

Consequently, in the mornings when we wake up we may look at each other and say—“I hid under your porch because I love you.”  When we want to talk about things we may want to do someday we might say- “I am a good tracker, I am on a special mission.”  For comedy relief during a heated discussion—“Squirrel!” 

All of this may seem quirky and a little off, but if I may be philosophical for a moment.  Dug is a beautiful example of unconditional love--- “I just met you but I love you.”  In Dug we see a perfect example of submission out of love—“Please be my master.” 

Dale Carnegie once wrote in How to Win Friends and Influence People that we should look at a dog to see how to really love people and Dug typifies that.  Though it seems quirky that Alex and I should exchange quotes from an animated dog we think it is a great part of our new culture and is in complete keeping in the spirit of this blog.  Omnia Vincit Amor. 

Charlie

Something that we care about and paid attention to every morning and evening is Charlie.  No, Charlie is not a dog, a fish, or animate object.  Charlie is my dear Alex’s iPod.  Now I know what you must be thinking sitting there and rolling your eyes thinking about how this new generation cannot exist without their technology. But Charlie’s appeal is not in his ability to play our music, the game Angry Birds, or any sort of communication with our friends.  No, Charlie has an incredible app that allows us to read the meditations of Charles Spurgeon’s devotional Morning and Evening.  (This is how the iPod was dubbed Charlie.  We often shout across the house at breakfast—Do you know where Charlie is at so we can do our morning devotional?)

For those of you who may not be familiar with Charles Spurgeon, just know that he was an English theologian whose style I could only characterize as C.S. Lewis-like, a man of vast intellect coupled with a poet’s heart.  The meditation usually starts with just a verse or two and from that verse will flow Spurgeon’s thoughts about it and what it tells us about God’s character and our relationship with him.  Alex and I have both been really blessed in that we both received an excellent Bible education growing up and because of that we can really appreciate the various references to passages scattered throughout the Bible that Spurgeon will use.  The metaphors and poetic language that Spurgeon draws from Scripture come out as fluently as most of us can talk about our everyday lives.  (Side note: Spurgeon’s writings are fluid and lyrical unless Alex is trying to read aloud with all of the old English wordings that are strange and get tangled at her tongue, but I enjoy watching her try.) 

Besides Charlie, our devotional time usually entails something that neither Alex or myself ever did growing up—we sing a hymn.  Back when I was at the university, the church I attended started the Hymnal Project, a compilation of hymns and songs that the people of his church found meaningful and design particularly for individual family worship time.  I was very excited by this and got my own copy and Alex perhaps less excitedly agreed to make singing a part of every day’s devotional.  It has been something that allows us to get our minds and hearts geared toward praising our Lord every day and is something that we both have grown to enjoy.  Recently Alex has gotten us on a Stuart Townsend kick and Arthur perhaps suffering from a mild case of chronological snobbery has been forced to admit that there are people writing wonderful hymns even today (which would make it contemporary  music).  Alex’s favorite hymn “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us” is written by Townsend.  It was probably good I didn’t realize this was a “new” hymn when Alex suggested we sing it at our wedding but I found the lyrics incredibly moving.  Alex has never been crazy about singing and will usually only sing during a church service when it is obligatory but rarely outside of that.  Now I have her singing hymns with me each day.  Alex was talking to one of her close friends a few weeks ago and mentioned that we sing hymns each morning as part of our devotional.  Her friend, knowing very much that Alex detests singing replied, ”It’s official, you are really  in love with him  if Arthur can get you to sing.”  Omnia Vincit Amor.

Musicals

Marriage is a creation of a distinct culture.  Every family has one, and while it could be characterized as an example of say, "Midwest conservative Christian culture", any given family and their practices and customs will differ from any other one.  Something that I (Arthur) like to think about is culture, how it's formed, benefits and drawbacks to individual cultures, and what that means about how we should live our lives and what we should allow to influence us.  As a result, it's fun for me to sit back and reflect about this little culture currently forming between Alex and myself.

One surprising aspect of our culture, at least to me, has been the use of musicals as entertainment.  I came from a family where I would say action and comedy movies were probably more the order of the day (though I had a grandpa who got a lot of enjoyment out of Laurence Welk song and dance numbers.)  Therefore, it has really been surprising to me how much I've enjoyed the musicals Alex and I have watched together.

It could be argued that our first date together was going to a musical.  A fraternity brother was in our university's production of "Guys and Dolls," and Alex's brother Arnold and I decided we would take our sisters to the performance.  Alex, of course, was oblivious to this, but I was more or less scouting her out as a girl I would like to get to know.  Anyhow, it was great, my favorite song being the Tin Horn Fugue (truth be told, I'm just a sucker for a good fugue.)  A fugue is comprised of independent melodies combined together by a common theme that's introduced at the beginning of the piece.  Johann Sebastian Bach, perhaps the greatest composer to ever draw breath, was the only major composer to do fugues; Beethoven and Mozart left them completely alone.  Some guy went and did it with lyrics.  That might be the pinnacle of musicianship.

The first musical we watched while actually dating was "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers," and to be completely honest that was much more a selection for Alex's sake than any personal enthusiasm about the movie.  Despite that fact, it was really good, and there's a scene in there where the brothers in question sing a song while swinging around axes.  I may be wrong, but that movie was made about 50 years ago and I don't think those were fake axes, so I got to give a ton of respect to those guys.  Consequently, this movie was deemed manly enough that it might be enjoyed on its merits instead of just as an appeasement to my lovely bride to be.  Note from Alex:  It also contains some of the best dance scenes and portrays male dancers as pretty athletic.

Since that time, we have seen "The Musicman," "The Fantastiks!," "The Fiddler on the Roof," "Les Miserables," and "Hello, Dolly."  I guess computers have given us some cool things, but they sure haven't made us more creative.  We've already given a critique of the latest Superman movie that was 75% special effects and fight scenes, and it is sad to think that we rely on that sort of thing to produce a movie instead of music, screenwriting, and choreography.

Anyway, all this to say that musicals are a part of Alex and I's developing family culture.  It is not one that I would have thought about or expected, but it is yet another way that our marriage has broadened my horizons. Omnia vincit amor!

Dinner Party

Arthur and I hosted our first dinner party this past week.  Neither one of us have a lot of experience in planning social gatherings- actually probably no experience is more accurate.  However, as a couple, one of the things we want to do is open our home to others and make them feel welcome.  My mother is a wonderful hostess.  She can put together a quick meal for 30 people without breaking a sweat.  I have always been impressed with this skill and I think it has skipped a generation.  While I am finally mastering something beyond mac and cheese and PB&J sandwiches (I had some classmates in PT school who thought I was a vegetarian since I always had peanut butter and jelly for lunch) for Arthur and myself, I was hesitant to cook for a crowd.  So our "crowd" at our dinner party was one person, my younger brother.  My younger brother will eat most things especially if there are large quantities of it, so the standards wouldn't be too high.  Especially right now since my brother is living in a house without a microwave or oven, anything relatively warm was going to be good.

Our menu was pretty simple-- creamy chicken penne, grapes, a spinach salad, garlic bread, and pudding for dessert.  We also pulled out the "company dishes"-- these are the special white dishes I convinced Arthur we needed on our wedding registry.  As far as he was concerned he owned 3 plates and I owned 4 so we were in business and didn't need to mess with registering for anything in our kitchen.  I think we all know who won that disagreement.  I also found some place mats and felt like I was back in 4-H foods working on my place settings and menus for the county fair.  (Note: I only survived 2 years of 4-H foods and most 4-Hers that actually stick with the foods project probably come out as pretty good cooks-- I was a foods drop-out therefore I make a mean PB&J).  I did learn to set a table and also learned about making sure a meal has a variety of colors which I think ours did.

As I was making dinner I was somewhat surprised by how easy some cooking can be.  I have always avoided it because it looks like it would take hours to put together a good meal.  Then I made some delicious pudding in 30 seconds-- I added some milk and whisked-- that is something I can handle.  I then made the penne-- boil water, add some noodles, drain, and open random cans of things for a sauce-- not too bad.  For garlic bread I spread some butter, sprinkled with garlic powder and something that was green flakes in the spice rack-- and it was great.  We even had some extra time before the meal to kick back and relax before my brother arrived.

After the meal we sat and talked and then the evening's entertainment was watching some YouTube videos-- and a good time was had by all.  After my brother left, my wonderful husband pitched in to help clean up like he does every evening (did I mention that he is a keeper?).  So one dinner party down, who knows how many more to go.  Omnia Vincit Amor. 

Flashback: Camouflage

Perhaps one of the great things that occur between two married people are all the inside jokes that inevitably get created living beside one another for the greater part of a lifetime.  We are coming up on two months of marriage, so perhaps that is not the greatest introduction.  However, our lives together have created some great laughs, and we have decided to disclose the story behind one of our favorite inside jokes.

We got on the subject earlier today when we were in Sunday school.  Someone was talking about how the longer you walk with God the easier it is to hear his voice, and how early on it can be like shopping for a gift for someone you've just started dating; you just have no idea what would really please this special person in your life.

Alex and I just turned to each other and laughed.

You see, once upon a time in a not so distant past, a happy boy who had just gotten the girl of his dreams to agree to be his girlfriend was walking with said girlfriend around a Cabelas.  This particular couple, having a shared interest in outdoor gear, found themselves in this Cabelas as part of a date.

Now it must be explained that this happy boy, eager to please this wonderful girl who had so caught his fancy, had primed himself to pick up on the slightest hint of what sorts of gifts his ladyfriend would most enjoy.  So when she (sarcastically) mentioned how functional and neat the camouflage polos they had just walked past would be (quoth the girl, "You could wear it golfing or hunting"), the boy thought he had struck upon the ultimate gift.

Imagine the boy's surprise when, a couple months later, this merry couple found themselves in this same Cabelas (this couple seems to really like outdoor equipment), and upon his mentioning that he didn't see any camouflaged polos, the object of his hearts desire said, "This is the women's section.  Women wouldn't wear anything as gaudy and awful as that."  The boy, having already purchased the garment in question, felt his spirits fall as he replied, "I have a confession to tell you."

At this point, his lady friend had no idea what confession was about to pour forth... this new boyfriend may be about to tell  about his criminal past or that he has a fatal illness or that.. who knows.   When he made the confession that he had indeed purchased a camo polo for the girl's upcoming birthday she started to laugh... in relief or disbelief...and continued to laugh...and is still laughing about it today.

Sure enough a few weeks later this girl unwrapped a camouflage polo with a poem that read "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, we've hung out for a while, but I still shop with no clue".

Now the boy had done his research.  He had asked three or four people to consult about his purchase and even contacted the girl's brother who was out of the country at the time to determine the correct size.  (Why he thought her brother would have a clue about size is still a mystery.)  Even though the polo was truthfully gaudy and awful, and the lady friend neither hunts nor golfs (so much for functionality), this gift was incredibly thoughtful.  The boy did his research, picked up on small hints (okay they may not have been hints at all but still give him credit), and should get bonus points for originality.  It is definitely one of the more memorable gifts exchanged in this relationship and the retelling of the story has garnered its share of laughs.

Anyway, we hope you enjoyed this story.  This might be the first time in our relationship that the concept of love conquering all- in this case, fashion deficiencies- played itself out, but it certainly won't be the last.  With that thought, Omnia Vincit Amor!

More than Conquerors

While we were sitting in church the other day, Alex nudged me and pointed at Romans 8:37.  I thought this a tad odd seeing as how the sermon was on Psalm 139.  (I apparently wasn’t listening very well since Romans 8:37 was the verse the pastor had just referenced moments before the nudge Alex told me later.)  Alex then quietly explained to me that Romans 8:37 fits into perfectly with both the spirit of this blog and the way we should model our lives (Alex also pointed out how this verse has even more meaning to us as a couple since it was in the passage that was read at our wedding.  You can always rely on the wife to remember those details.)  Here is the verse:

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”

  If you were to look at Romans 8:37 in Latin some variation on Omnia Vincit Amor would be stated.  Our blog appropriately focuses on the love shared and (the grace given) in Alex and my relationship.  But in actuality our love is just a tiny manifestation of a greater love given freely to us by our Lord and Savior.  Without His example and guiding spirit we could not love one another as we should.  And without it we could not claim to be the conquerors that the Apostle Paul declares in this verse.   Alex and I are both very competitive people and the thought of losing at anything has made competitions between us quite exciting.  But how sweet it is to think that every single day of our lives we get to play out the victory already won for us by a God so loving that he gave himself for us.  It gives me great pause to reflect that a God so mighty that He can speak a universe into existence, a God with such all-encompassing knowledge that he set all the physical constants into perfect harmony, had to die to recover fellowship because of the chasm I set in place by my sin.  'Tis a sweet victory indeed.  

Back to the entirety of the passage we picked for our wedding, Romans 8:28-39.  It was chosen by me (Arthur). When thinking about other weddings I attended and the passages read they almost always focused on the marriage relationship between a man and wife, and that is perfectly legitimate and wonderful but it is like listening to a measure of a great symphony; it cannot encompass the beauty of the whole piece of music.  Alex on the other hand was a little hesitant about using the passage.  She didn’t think a passage about famine, death, or persecution was very wedding appropriate.  She later decided that while it may be a little different for a wedding, it was very marriage appropriate.  Every marriage will experience those rough times, after all we are vowing “for better or for worse”.  However, none of those have the power to separate us from the love of Christ, instead we become conquerors.  If He is for us, than who or what can be against us.  We wanted to focus on the promises of God and His love eternal and rest confident that because of those promises our marriage could succeed and thrive.  And so today we are reminded of God’s grace and promises and encouraged once again to live out the victory of Christ in our lives every day.  In this we are more than conquerors.  Omnia Vincit Amor.