Monday, September 30, 2013

Sloppy Joe Saga

Tonight we had sloppy joes for dinner.  I dislike sloppy joes. A lot.  And I don't think sloppy joes will ever be served again in our household.  (Starting after we finish the leftovers in the fridge.)  As a kid, I (Alex) never liked sloppy joes and usually avoided eating them when I could.  And now that I am in charge of calling the shots for meal planning, shopping, and cooking, one would think I wouldn't have too.  However, there is this one can of sloppy joe sauce that has ended up in my pantry.  I am sure that my well-meaning mother sent it with me to school in Kansas City so that I would have supplies for an easy meal.  The one thing sloppy joes have going for them is that it was pretty easy to fix.  This can got pushed to the back of my pantry and stayed there since I don't like sloppy joes.  I then moved and this can went home with me and all my stuff.  I then spent several weeks on a clinical living in an empty house so my mother sent me off on this journey with some food so at least I would have something to eat and this can went with me.  Of course, I had more than enough food so I never ate sloppy joes and this can moved back home with me once again.  I then moved into a place of my own when we got married so this sloppy joe sauce made that trip as well.

And it has sat in our cabinet to this day.  I finally got tired of moving this particular can and decided this afternoon to bite the bullet and make sloppy joes.  I had several projects going on around the house and had just browned a few pounds of ground beef so sloppy joes was the easy answer for dinner.  Arthur got home from work and asked what smelled so delicious for dinner (he's pretty good at earning those husband points).  I told him we were having sloppy joes since I dragged this can of sauce all over the state for the past year and was plum tired of it being in pantry and my life.  Surely I was remembering sloppy joes as worse than they really are.  Sadly I wasn't.  Arthur and I sat down to dinner and I ate everything else on my plate until all that was left was the sloppy joe staring back at me.  I took a few bites hoping each would be better than the last.  I then wished that the bites would make the half eaten sandwich disappear faster.  By this time Arthur was finished eating and starting on the dishes.  The next bite caused my gag reflex to kick in.  Now Arthur was thoroughly enjoying himself watching me struggle.  He then started to cheer, Alex, Alex, Alex.  I asked for another glass of milk to help wash it down with.  At some point we looked at the can and saw that it is advertised to contain a full serving of vegetables.  Arthur then questioned why I served him carrot sticks if he was already getting a full serving of veggies.  Maybe what I told my parents all along is true that I have adverse reactions too large doses of veggies causing my throat to close up.  Finally, after about 25 minutes that seemed like an eternity, the last bite of sloppy joe was swallowed and my plate was clean.  At least until we have left over sloppy joes.  Omnia Vincit Amor. 

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