Holiday Prose

Let’s hear it for twenty thirteen,

One of the finest years seen,

The year we were wed,

And graduated,

Has made it to us endearing.

The year itself started off fast,

Wedding plans and school not yet past,

A dress for the bride,

After many ones tried,

One task down, the remainder so vast.

Jobs for these youth to be found,

Caused them to look all around,

In this they were blessed,

Though not quite unstressed,

Their jobs make the future unbound.

And so the wed started a home,

Still exploring, they wonder and roam,

Astounded by love,

God’s gifts from above,

They’ve found joy, grace, and shalom.

So as this year comes to a close,

Enjoy the sweet Christmas repose,

A happy new year,

We wish, quite sincere,

As we end this holiday prose.

 A big shout out to Arthur who sat down and wrote this poem in 20 minutes- not bad for an engineer- and for wearing a very goofy hat at the request of his wife.

Bingo and Bells

This afternoon I have been watching it snow out the kitchen window.  I really enjoy watching how snow transforms the landscape from blah to a winter wonderland.  Especially if it is on the weekend so Arthur and I don't have to tackle our commute in it.  I have been cooking up my own storm in the kitchen and listening to Christmas music.  The past few weeks has been full of Christmas activities.  We have watched a few Christmas movies and had an impromptu Christmas carol sing.  Each morning we have been singing a Christmas carol during our hymn and devotional time.  Let's just say that a lot of these traditional Christmas tunes have about 5 more verses than anyone ever sings.

Here is our festive center piece on the kitchen table

Our church's youth Christmas program was a few weeks ago.  Nothing like watching 3 and 4 year old preschoolers beat on an oatmeal can for Little Drummer Boy.  Also the program involved glow sticks and party poppers with lots of confetti during Joy to the World.  Not too shabby but the mark of a truly great Christmas program is live animals (which are even more unpredictable than preschoolers).

Wednesday night at church we helped pack Christmas meal food boxes.  Arthur and I had quite the system down.  It was decided that I would wrap the boxes.  Arthur attempted one and an executive decision was made that his skills were more suited for hauling the bags of potatoes we would put in each box.   As a general guideline, I am in charge of crafty and artsy tasks while Arthur has brute, manual labor covered.  We also decided that even though it was only the two of us we were much more efficient and productive compared to the families around us with a gaggle of kids under the age of 9.

That evening we decided to take a walk to enjoy the Christmas lights.  We thought we better take advantage of the warm temperatures at night and really enjoyed partaking in the lighted splendor of town.

On Friday at work in the middle of the afternoon a group of about 10 ladies wandered in wearing Santa hats.  They were part of the bell choir from the church my boss attends so there was a wonderful 10 minute hand bell concert in the middle of our therapy gym.  Have I mentioned I have one of the best jobs ever?

 We also helped with Jesus' birthday party.  The director of children's ministries put us in charge of Christmas bingo "because we would just make the cutest bingo calling couple".  Who knew cuteness was a prerequisite?  Arthur was the official caller and I was crowd control.  I didn't know Arthur had such good bingo calling skills when I married him-- definitely a great catch.  I also cracked up when a group of 10 year old girls told him that the "blue ornament" space he had called was actually green.  This then resulted in a discussion that it was more of a teal.  He just can't get away from women telling him about the importance of color in decorating.  Of course Jesus showed up to his birthday party, not sure what connections the director of children's ministries has but that is impressive.  And after singing Happy Birthday the kids got to get their pictures taken with Jesus at the photo booth-- quite the birthday party.

So neither of us have actually started Christmas shopping yet.  We still have a few days left, right? 

I found these skates at a garage sale for a dollar a few summers ago and my sister-in-law helped me decorate them

 I think both Arthur and I have enjoyed getting to share the season's festivities with one another this year.  We have introduced each other to different Christmas traditions we grew up to and maybe even started some new traditions for our new family together.  Omnia Vincit Amor.

As I finished writing this Arthur is down in the basement riding our indoor bike belting out the chorus from Angels We Have Heard on High. (I'm not quite sure how he can sing, breathe, and ride at the same time.)  "After all the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loudly for all to hear."

O Christmas Tree

Our last blog post was about our faulty, fake Christmas tree that crashed to the floor taking with it all of our heirloom ornaments.  This post will extol the virtues of real, live Christmas trees.  Real Christmas trees are something that I (Alex) am very passionate about and also almost ruined my relationship with Arthur before it began.  (In case you have been worried, our Christmas tree has not toppled again yet so Arthur’s books are doing the job.)

Throughout high school and college I worked at a Christmas tree farm during the summer.  My job on the summer trimming crew was carefully shaping the top of each tree with an artistic touch to give it the pointed top and ensure there was a branch (a leader) growing upwards to place the angel or star on.  Pine trees do not naturally grow to look like a slender Christmas tree, especially Scotch pines which are grown in Kansas.  Working in the summer was hot and muggy among the pine trees—through this experience I decided that 7 years of school was worth it to get out of manual labor and working outside.  I usually smelled of bug spray, sun screen, sweat, Zep (the non-stick spray we use on the shears), and pine sap.  During the Christmas season I would help out in the office as a sales clerk and making sure everyone got hot apple cider and candy canes.

 In my public speaking class during college I submitted an outline for my final speech about the benefits of real Christmas trees over artificial trees.  I had a ton of good information and thought the topic was timely since it was December.  My instructor did not think the speech was relevant for my audience and had me redo the outline and my speech.  I ended up doing my speech on polio (how relevant is a disease that has been eradicated in our country for decades?) and did fairly well.  I still might be slightly bitter about not getting to spread my knowledge about real Christmas trees to the masses, especially when a classmate had a speech was about the Dixie Chicks-- talk about relevancy to real life.  It was also slightly ironic that of the 20 people in my class I knew one girl since her family came to the Christmas tree farm every year to pick out a tree.  Every summer while trimming trees there are classic stories that are retold over and over-- we have to keep ourselves entertained somehow-- so it is usually requested that I tell the story of the lame speech instructor who hates Christmas and the whole crew gets riled up.

A few years later Arthur and I were both accepted into an honorary group during college.  This was really the first time we had meet and about 2 years before we started dating.  At the induction ceremony the icebreaker for the introduction was to share something interesting about yourself.  I shared that my summer job is working at a Christmas tree farm which I thought was rather unique and interesting.  In the row behind me some smart aleck guy made a comment that business is probably pretty bad at a Christmas tree farm in July.  This wise-guy was obviously ignorant about the Christmas tree farming industry and all the work throughout the year it takes to produce a single Christmas tree in December.  (Yet another college student who would have benefited from my speech.)  They say first impressions are important.  Let’s just say that Arthur’s comment didn’t make a good first impression when he insulted my livelihood.  Maybe that’s why I wouldn’t date him for another two years.  I suppose it is good that I don’t hold grudges (it is okay if you laughed at that) and he has charm and good looks or we probably wouldn’t be married today.  Omnia Vincit Amor. 

Angels on high take flight

Christmas time is officially here.  I only had to get after Arthur a few times for jumping the gun on singing Christmas music before Thanksgiving. This past weekend I pulled out our plethora of Christmas decorations.  This year it was fun to see the "new" ornaments Arthur brought to our marriage. (So actually Arthur didn't bring the ornaments- his mother did.  He saw them hanging on the tree and had no idea how they got into our house.)  We both have little rocking horse ornaments from our first Christmases back in 1987- rocking horses must have been really popular then.  I was also really excited to unwrap Arthur's nativity set to find it had 3 camels-- I'm not sure why camels are so thrilling but they are. 

There were also several decorations I made over the years in 4-H crafts.  4-H arts and crafts projects have provided quite a bit of the decor in our home.  

Since we had such a collection of ornaments we were going to need a tree.  I stopped by a second hand store a few weeks ago and was able to pick one up that someone had dropped off just hours before.  It as the perfect size for our living room.  I would like to pause briefly to make a point.  True Christmas trees are real, live, grown happily on a tree farm trees are raised with tender loving care.  As an alumnus of the summer Christmas tree trimming crew for several years this is important.  It almost ruined my relationship with Arthur. But that might be a story for another blog.  Anyway, this year we have a fake Christmas tree which means we will have a little less Christmas joy in our home without the scent of pine or fir permeating the air.  I set up the tree, put on the strings of lights, (a good rule of thumb is whenever you think you have enough twinkly lights, add 1 more strand) and hung the ornaments.  Arthur had several ornaments he had received over the years from his grandparents.  I have several snowman ornaments from my grandma and my parents always seem to get us quirky ornaments that have some significance to the activities of the past year.  I also have a collection of angel ornaments that I have gotten each year.  The series started the year I was born.  It's always exciting to see the new design for the ornaments each year.  

I carefully finished decorating the tree.  Next I moved onto to setting up the Nativity scene with the great camels.  While I was distracted with the awesome camels, the tree behind me toppled to the floor.  Angels were catapulted across the room.  Reindeer and Santas were scattered to and fro.  There was one causality that was fixed with some super glue- the handy gal's secret weapon.  The tree was returned to the upright position and then secured it with several volumes of Arthur's boring textbooks-- at least they are good for something.  I then redecorated the tree after I crawled all over the floor trying to find angels that had landed under furniture around the room.   After finishing a few other finishing touches our Christmas decorating was finally complete.  Now we can kick back, relax, drink hot chocolate while enjoying the lights on the tree. Omnia Vincit Amor.

Working with people

As a physical therapist, one of the blessings and curses of my job is dealing with a wide variety of people.  I have never been much of a people person and frankly before choosing this profession I never considered the fact I would have to interact with some many people on a daily basis.  By the time I figured out that I would have to work with real, live people, it was a little late.  That being said, the people are what make the job interesting.  I never know who I will meet the next day and I also get the opportunity of working closely with my patients for a few times a week for a month or two.  Here are a few funny experiences I have had with patients.

I had an elderly lady with a great British accent.  It was just fun to listen to her speak.  Of course she had trouble hearing so I would have to almost yell back (I have a heard time speaking loudly.)  She has three little dogs named Whiskey, Scotch, and Tequila.  (I will refrain from getting on my soap box about small dogs being a fall risk for older patients with balance problems). 

One patient asked me if we have a woodshed out back where we send the patients who just don't have much of a chance of recovery to put them out of their misery like horses with bum legs.

I had another patient with a shoulder injury do an exercise where he was to toss a ball at a trampoline and catch it again.  I failed to consider that this patient was left handed and it was his right shoulder that was injured.  Trustingly, he tossed the weighted ball at the trampoline with his right hand and when it came right back at him he couldn't catch it with his non-dominate hand and it almost smacked him right in the face.  We didn't do that exercise again but I got a good laugh out of it.

I am working with a patient who is having knee pain.  He served in the military for several years all over the world, but primarily in Asia.  To express his pain when we are working on bending his knee or something else that is fairly uncomfortable he start uttering phrases in Japanese, Korean, or Chinese.  He doesn't really realize he is doing this and isn't sure what the phrases are-- just bits and pieces he picked up over the years- but it always catches me by surprise.

It's always interesting to hear how patients try to relieve their pain themselves.  One patient who recently had shoulder surgery uses a heating pad to help with soreness.  He decided it would be even more relaxing for his sore muscles if he laid in a tanning bed awhile.  I don't know if it helped his shoulder that much but he increased his pain with getting a sunburn all over his body. 

I get the opportunity to work with some "interesting" people.  For the most part I get a kick out of the people I work with and most days it is pretty entertaining.  Working in a service industry  where I interact with a diverse crowd everyday it is good to always remember that everyone I meet was made in God's image.  I'm glad God was had a sense of creativity.  Omnia Vincit Amor.

Giving Thanks with a Grateful Heart

The past few mornings Arthur and I have busted out the good ole Thanksgiving hymns during our devotional time in the morning.  The following hymn is one that has been running through my head this past week:

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done,

Count your blessings, name them one by one;

Count your blessings, see what God hath done;

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

During this past year a lot has happened in each of our lives.  This year had its challenges and difficult times but also times of great joy.  In this post we are counting our blessings over the past year to remember what the Lord has done in our lives.  Hopefully it will serve as a good reminder later whenever we are "discouraged, thinking all is lost" that God can be trusted and deserves our gratitude regardless of the situation. So here are this year's blessings:

1. Marrying and getting to live and share life with my best friend
2. Hanging out with our friends a few weekends (we should get married more often for this reason)
3. Being reminded of all the family and friends we have been blessed with at our wedding and other associated events
4. People who have opened their homes for Alex to live in for several weeks at a time during her "nomad" life 
5. Sermon podcasts
6. Passing the PT board exam
7. Graduating from college and graduate school
8. No more studying
9. Jobs we love
10. Pay checks
11. God's grace and forgiveness
12. Second-hand appliances that work
13. A vehicle with A/C for Arthur's commute
14. Selling a vehicle in less than 1 day on Craig's List (Arthur- the expert used car salesman)
15. Finding a new church home and getting involved.
16. The completion of construction on the main road to work.
17. Audio books.
18. Pandora internet radio.
19. Musicals.
20. The authors, composers, artists, philanthropists, politicians, and architects who have created or given us access to many of the ideas and the beauties that mean so much to us.
21. Athletic competitions.
22. The beautiful walkways around our house.
23. Our new home and community
24. Wonderful supporting families.
25. An excellent public library system.
26. Our country.  Flawed as it is, we still have it pretty good.
27. Finding dress clothes that don't feel like a straightjacket.
28. The mother-in-law who found said dress clothes.
29. Good health.
30. The senator representing us nationally.  Though I often disagree with him, he is a good man.
31. Two day weekends.  We didn't always have those.
32. God's daily provision.

Forging New Territory

Here is the latest update on activities from our kitchen...

Last week our "Date Night" involved making potato soup and using Arthur's power juicer to whip up some pomegranate apple cranberry juice.  I have never done anything with pomegranates before.  I like things that are pomegranate flavor and my pomegranate shampoo smells delightful so I though I would give it a whirl.  Put pomegranates on the list with eggplant parmesan and boning a chicken as experiences that are good once but don't really need to be repeat due to the amount of effort involved.  Pomegranates are filled with a ton of little seeds that squirt fuchsia juice all over the place.  Luckily it didn't stain anything but it did look like a murder had been committed in our kitchen.  We poured our freshly squeezed juice into our fancy "celebrate life" glasses and toasted while settling down for a Cosby episode on Netflix-- we know how to have a good time

The next weekend we threw an impromptu dinner party as my parents and brother and sister-in-law stopped by after the K-State game.  We were going to eat out but changed our minds due to traffic.  Arthur and I were able to pick up the needed supplies and have dinner on the table and picked up our living room by the time they arrived.  We have mad skills with frozen pizza and spinach salad.  Kudos to Arthur for being a great host...tending the ovens, setting up extra setting, getting drinks ready, clearing the table, etc.

The next milestone in the kitchen was cooking pork tenderloin in the crock pot.  I have had a crock pot for about three years and I am sorry to say that this was my crock pot's maiden voyage.  I do have several crock pot recipe books and it is something I would like to utilize more now that I work and commute.  It is also one of my first forays into meats.  I do ground beef and chicken breast okay but haven't venture much beyond those safe limits.  If you cook with meat and it turns out terrible it is a little more expensive cost-wise than messing up a batch of rice or pasta.  I don't know if it was beginner's luck or just good advice from my personal cooking mentor (aka my mother who gets a lot of phone calls at 5:30pm when I am trying to figure out how to cook dinner), but the pork tenderloin went off without a hitch.  At dinner Arthur made some comment about how it must have taken some time to make the pork that day.  I had to break it to him that I dumped it in the crock pot, tossed in a sliced apple, put a few dashes of garlic powder in, and went to work for the day.  Since it was so easy he might expect it more often.  Omnia Vincit Amor.

Shepherding

One way Arthur and I have gotten involved at our church is helping with the middle school and high school youth groups as "shepherds".  This title for the position is a little intimidating.  The term shepherd denotes leading something such as sheep somewhere.  I think the term "cowboy" would be more appropriate for what we do which is more riding herd on a bunch of teenagers.  I think our actual job is to be more of a mentor at some point.

I have been working with the high school girls.  I have really been enjoying this but it makes me feel really old.  Surely it hasn't been 10 years since I was I high school girl.  It is also a tad strange to be considered in the adult age range on the spectrum now.  Although at times I have had to specify that I'm a leader and not a new student.  I also have forgotten how much girls can talk, how fast they talk, and how all can be talking at the same time and somehow still comprehend 3 separate conversations (not including the multiple texting chats they may be having on their phones at the same time.)  I'm looking forward to working with this group.

On Sunday we did a service project raking leaves for older members of the church. This was a good idea except for the weather on Sunday.  There were swirling wind gusts up to 50mph.  This makes doing anything outside a little more challenging--especially raking leaves.  I honestly have not raked many leaves in my life before.  While our yard had a lot of trees they were small, newer trees so leaves were never a problem. (This also means there wasn't any leave piles to jump in which was a downside.)  We did a few yards and then found some shelter from the wind at the church kitchen and had frozen pizza and Sonic drinks.  I am also realizing that my pizza consuming is spiking the more I hang out with high schoolers.

I (Arthur) had a blast raking leaves.  I probably did not rake more than the average amount of leaves as a child, but I was always very competitive and thorough about it.  That tradition continues on today.  I have a very nonphysical job, and while I love the mental aspect of it, I had a huge hankering for some yard work by the time Sunday rolled around.  Besides that, I feel a moral obligation to show all the young whippersnappers how a man works, so I went at it hard.  I suppose it could be argued that you shouldn't really "feel the burn" while raking leaves, but I would say that I was employing my upper body with as much exertion as I would performing the front crawl swimming; and I had that nice, satisfying burn in my shoulders afterwards that always felt rewarding after swimming.  Added bonus: I can still outwork a gaggle of teenagers five times over (they're called a gaggle, right?)

We would also like to thank anyone who invested in our lives while we were in youth groups.  I now have a much deeper appreciation for all you did and also probably what you had to put up with.  When we first met with the pastor of our church I mentioned that the time period in my life that had the greatest impact on my spiritual growth was during high school and that I had a few women who poured into us and really challenged and encouraged me.  After making that comment it was suggested that we might be a good fit to be "shepherds" since we know the value and impact it can have on a life personally.  Which lead me to raking leaves in the wind instead of taking a Sunday afternoon nap.  Omnia Vincit Amor.

Flashback: She said Yes

Alex and I are now a little over 4 months into our first year of marriage, and while our first anniversary is still months away another important milestone took place 1 year ago: the day I asked my dear Alex to become my wife.

It took some planning to actually choose the day that I would ask Alex to marry me.  I wanted to ask her father before hand but I didn't want to leave too much time between when I visited with him and when I would see Alex again.  Because of this I actually waited a couple of months later than I would have liked but finally all the pieces fell into place.  I was able to take some time off from school and work so I could go to Alex's hometown and ask for her father's blessing.

I knew I would have to propose to her fairly early once she got there.  I was bursting at the seams at the thought of asking her to marry me and I could never have kept it too myself for very long.  So our proposal story is fairly simple.  I took her on a walk around campus visiting various spots that had meaning to our relationship and then dropped to one knee in a grove of trees that offered some privacy.

I don't really think that I surprised her.  Later she would admit that she knew something was up the instant I bounded out of the house like a moose who got hold of some funny  mushrooms.  But she said yes and didn't even have to hesitate. Then we shared our first kiss.  And it was magical.


Alex's comments and a few more details:
For guys a proposal story boils down to getting a yes, getting a kiss, and ultimately getting the girl.  Other frivolous details aren't critical to those three objectives.  So my version may be a little bit longer.

Last fall semester I realized that a few girls in my class had bets placed on who the next one of us in a serious relationship would become engaged.  My name was at the top of the list.  On weekends when I would head to visit Arthur all my friends would ask if it was going to be this weekend that he popped the question.  There was one weekend when he called me during the week stating that he was excited for my visit and that he had something very special planned.  This piqued my curiosity but it turned out the surprise was that he was making grilled cheese sandwiches for our dinning pleasure that night-- I do like grilled cheese sandwiches.  Several more weeks passed and I was busy with finishing up school work.  We had our final comprehensive exam, a 4 hour test covering 3 years of material to study for.  As we were relaxing right before the exam that afternoon my friends asked me again if it was going to be this weekend.  I didn't think so but maybe.  While I was under a lot of stress that afternoon taking my test I didn't realize Arthur was meeting with my father-  I probably had the better deal.

The next morning as I drove up he bounded out his front door with more energy and excitement than I had ever seen before.  At that point I knew something was up.  We drove to campus and he pulled out a letter I had written him a few years earlier while I was in Alaska for the summer.  The letter had a map of campus with numbers corresponding to some of my favorite spots on campus-- the location of our first date, my favorite trees, a building I had several classes in, etc.  We visited all the spots and had a great time remembering some of our previous outings around campus.  Then Arthur pulled me off the sidewalk into a grove of trees I had walked by every day as a student that was basically across the street from where I had lived for 4 years.  He got down on one knee and I started smiling really big- as if I didn't know what was shortly going to follow.  He asked me to be his wife.  I responded that it would be an honor and a pleasure to marry him.  We kissed for the first time.  And we kissed again.  And a few more times after that.

That evening I was staying with my cousin who graciously offered me a place to stay whenever I visited Arthur.  We were chatting a little bit before going to bed and she asked, "So, what's new with you?" I coolly responded, "Well, Arthur asked me to marry him today and I said yes."  At that point slight pandemonium broke out.  Later, the next week I was back in class when one of my classmates noticed my ring and gave a muffled shriek during lecture.  During our break in the hallway the congratulations got a little to rambunctious and the teacher in the next classroom came out and asked us to be quiet.  A few more classmate walked up missing the first announcement and more commotion broke out causing this other instructor to come out of the classroom again and request that our teacher please control us.  I don't think Arthur realized how much chaos he would cause with a ring on my finger.  Omnia Vincit Amor.
  

It's been a quiet week...

I realized that it has been almost a week since we blogged.  We are trying our best to blog on a consistent basis.  However, to blog frequently you need something to blog about.  That as been difficult this week since it’s been a little slow around the home place.  So below is a random assortment of what we have done-- none of which had enough for an entire post.

- We finished season 1 of The Cosby Show.  Most evening over the past few weeks we have been watching an episode on YouTube.  Occasionally we will watch 2 episodes in a row or if we are really crazy we will pop some popcorn.  The fun never ends around here.

- Our average bedtime this week has been 9:22pm.  I guess so much fun wears us out quickly.  Are we really that far removed from those collegiate all-nighters?  (So Alex never pulled all-nighters but occasionally she would stay up till 11pm.) 

- It seems that we are becoming adults or at least having to do adult tasks. We changed our furnace filter for the first time and paid for registration on our cars.  What fun!

- Last night our house smelled delicious between apple crisp baking in the oven and our homemade citrus vinegar we use for cleaning the house that night.

- I went shopping for items for Operation Christmas Child shoe boxes which made me really excited.  This is probably the only Christmas shopping I enjoy. 

- We had three trick-or-treaters for Halloween.  So we had lots of Halloween leftover candy that we have been munching on all week.  Now we just need to find someone who likes Almond Joys.

That really sums it up for the highlights and activities of our week.  But frankly after the past year or so it is kind of nice to have a few weeks where no major life changes occur.  Omnia Vincit Amor.

Audiobooks

Alex and I work in two different towns over an hour apart.  Because of this we found a good middle ground in a smaller town about halfway between our two work destinations and that has allowed us to fairly evenly split commute time.  But what we do with that commute time has been a very rewarding hour each day listening to audiobooks. 

Audiobooks are great for a variety of reasons.  Obviously they fill the time that we commute every day.  There is always radio for that.  The real value of audiobooks comes from the fact that it gives Alex and I so much to talk about.  While our interests vary widely, that variety means we don’t listen to the same books.  Hence, it is always interesting hearing what the other has to say.  I, Arthur, tend to be more politically and philospically minded and hence my reading tastes have included the autobiography of Bill Clinton, a lecture series on the relationship between science and religion, and Hot, Flat, and Crowded, a book about the damage environmental apathy will have on us in the future if we don’t amend our ways. 

While Arthur is just discovering the beauty of audiobooks, Alex has listened to hundreds of the the past few years.  While driving Alex has a tendency to get drowsy and listening to audiobooks has helped her fight this and stay in engage on the road.  She is more for adventure in her choice of material.  She listens to a lot of non-fiction as well as a few select fiction series.  Just over the past few months she has  listened a book about climbing the tallest mountains in the Himilayas, a detective series in Botswana, a story of a young lady who gets fired from being a lawyer and learns to become a maid (this included a great British accent by the narrator and English words such as lue and lift), a con man galavanting around the world, accounts of the Civil War along the Mississippi River, and the story of a homeless African American boy making it as an NFL football player.  Even though Alex is driving the same stretch of interstate each day she is being transport around the globe, through different time periods, and seeing the world through the eyes of a variety of people. 

Needless to say conversations are never boring around the dinner table in the evenings.  Arthur is always interested in hearing about what Alex is hearing about, and while Alex maybe sometimes is not quite as enthused about hearing the world of politics and irreducible complexity she nods politely.  The only difficulty is deciding what to listen to when we travel together!  In this particular instance we circumvented this obstacle by blogging in the car instead. And at least today in this manner Omnia Vincit Amor.  

Random Running Thoughts 2

On Halloween afternoon I found myself enjoying a lovely run through the cemetery.  I had forgotten it was Halloween and it didn't even cross my mind as slightly strange to be hanging out in the cemetery this holiday.

I run in the cemetery often- in fact it might be one of my favorite locales for a leisurely jog.  This is a habit I started in high school during cross country practice.  To prepare for the state cross country meet my senior year we drove to a cemetery 10 miles away to practice because it had some of the biggest hills in the county-- I come from a very flat portion of Kansas which made training for hilly cross country courses a little tricky.  That particular week it happened to be Halloween and I was running in the dark at 5:30 in the morning-- that was a little strange.  I can't believe my senior cross country season was over 8 years ago.  Where did the time go?  Of course I was considerably faster back then-- where did my speed go I wondered as I trotted up a hill this fall Thursday afternoon.  A perfect fall Thursday afternoon.  If they were like this every week all cross country runners would rejoice for meets.  I was rejoicing because I was able to get home from work in time to go running.  This might be the last week I can squeeze a run in since it will be dark next week due to the time change so I was savoring the moments.

Some of the reasons I like to run in cemeteries are that there is a lot less traffic, if any, compared to city streets so I can be alone with my thoughts and have to worry less about making sure cars can see me.  It's also a fairly quiet place usually as well.  Today the crunchy leaves provided the background noise with the slight drone of the vehicles on the interstate in the distance reminding me there was a busy, bustling world, outside the sanctuary I was running through.  Most people like to run in parks which is okay with me but cemeteries are a lot like parks and I kind of feel like a lot of people don't utilize them to their full potential and enjoy their beauty on this side of eternity.  The autumn colors of the trees throughout were brilliant against the crisp, blue sky in the late afternoon light.  The shadows grow longer this time of day creating a unique contrast between the sunlight and darkness from the shadows.  There were also a few squirrels scampering about to provide some comic relief on my run.  Later I saw a family walking their golden retriever and enjoying the cemetery on this afternoon as well. This past weekend Arthur and I were walking in the cemetery when we met an older couple we know from church and we chatted a while.  They were on Sunday afternoon drive and decided to look at some of the markers to get an idea of what they want to get.  I suppose at a different time in our lives Arthur and I will go on a date to do the same thing. Hopefully that will be a long ways down the road but it was interesting to think about different ages and stages in life we will hopefully walk side by side through before we take or Sunday drive to check out markers.

Running in cemeteries also seems to bring out a different set of thoughts than normal runs.  I wasn't thinking about my to-do list, or pacing my miles, or the aching in my legs since I am out of shape.  I tend to think more about life and consequently death. There are some stones which I recognize the names such as Eisenhower or Duckwall or Brown and I know snippets of their stories and successes.  I think about the other names on the markers and make up my own stories about how those people's likes, their families, their careers or interests, how their lives impacted the community.  Cemeteries are full of stories.  Last weekend on our walk we noticed some gravestones off in the corner of one section.  We realized there were three matching stones with the same last name.  Each was a child with the same date for when they entered this world and left it.  All the dates were with in 4 years.  Just small pieces of this family's story.  Three babies that died at birth within 4 years.  But what was the rest of the story?  How did these parents find the strength to go on?  What do you do when your hopes and dreams for a child come crashing down around you.  And not just once but three times?

I understand why some people find cemeteries depressing.  There are the stories that break your heart.  But then there are the memories of the lives that touched so many other lives in big ways or small.  More importantly, cemeteries remind me that death is not the end of the story.  Christ's death and more importantly his resurrection gives us victory over death.  As glorious as my run this afternoon through the cemetery was I know that it is merely shadows of the Glory that is to come.  Omnia Vincit Amor.  

I suppose it's in my genes...

I come from a long line of home economics majors.  My mother, my grandmothers, and several aunts all studied home economics.  I followed in their footsteps and became a third generation graduate of the College of Human Ecology at K-State... as an athletic trainer.  The only culinary art I learned in college was how to whip up a nice chilled 10 gallon cooler of Gatorade. (I suppose I did have enough hours almost for a minor in nutrition so I do know saturated fat from folic acid.)  I earned the reputation in grad school of being the master of using canned crescent rolls in any dish I took to class gatherings.

Shockingly, over the past few months I have turned into a housewife and homemaker and am really enjoying myself.  What happened?!?  Are the genetics from my home econ roots just now blooming?  I realized I was a goner the other day when I made homemade pancake syrup.  I could have easily picked up a container for a few dollars but instead I found myself stirring a pot of boiling sugar.  I also baked my first whole chicken.  I must say I was pretty impressed with how it turned out- almost a work of art with the orange slices tastefully arranged and the seasoning on the crisp skin.  Then I had to bone said chicken and decided that this was way overrated and I will stick to frozen chicken breasts.

I have always considered myself a woman of math and science and I am beginning to realize how math and science play into being a homemaker.  My mom was once asked by some exchange students what she studied in school so explained that home economics was about cooking, clothing, running a household, family financial planning, etc. They replied, "Oh, so you can teach girls how to be maids."  Not quite.
Being a young couple and new grads we are trying to develop habits of being fiscally responsible.  One way I am trying to do this is through cutting out expenses while grocery shopping.  I will admit that I have taken it as far as to make price comparison sheets of what I buy for three different grocery stores and which store has the best deal on which items.  I use to absolutely hate grocery shopping but now I enjoy the challenge of planning, finding the best deals, and how much I can save per week.  Arthur is also working on a spreadsheet to find out the cost of recipes that we frequently make.  So we might be just a little nerdy-- oh well.

Since we are also working full-time I am also working on ways to have meals on hand if we don't have time to cook after work.  One afternoon I made double recipes of several dishes to stock our freezer.  I have gotten pretty good with making an entire meal in the rice cooker.  My next project will be mastering the crock pot.

One of the reasons I married Arthur was that he liked to cook and said that he would be willing to be the family chef. I figured I couldn't let a deal like that get away from me so I snatched him up.  Okay, so there may have been a few more important reasons why I fell in love and married him but not having to cook was sure appealing.  In pre-marital counseling we discussed family roles and responsibilities.  One role was the home manager role.  Arthur told the pastor that he was going to be the one filling that role.  I probably shot him some type of glare and the pastor thought we needed to discuss it farther.  I tried to explain to Arthur that being the family chef and home manager were two different roles entirely.  One was the person who cooks the other is in charge of everything else.  As it turns out due to work schedules I got both jobs- chef and home manager.  I am embracing being the chef more than I every thought.  This is not saying that I am a good chef yet by any stretch of the imagination but Arthur is very gracious about eating my cooking (more stories on this in a later post.)  Arthur on the other hand is becoming very good at washing dishes and is learning the finer techniques of laundry--another reason I snatched him as my husband.

I can't believe how these "home making instincts" kicked in all of a sudden once we were married.  Now I take pride taking care of my man and the home we have made together.  While I originally thought I would be a reluctant homemaker, I have yet once again found that omnia vincit amor (love conquers all).

Soup

If you were to walk into our kitchen the other evening it may have looked like a war-zone.  Piles of pots were scattered about, splatters on the counter, and diced vegetables littered the floor.  A battle had been wages and a victory was won—Alex had made soup from scratch for the first time.  (I’m not sure what it says about my cooking that I always seem to use war or battle analogy to describe my activities in the kitchen).   Since it was a cool October evening, and since it snowed that day, I decided that it was soup season.

 

I pulled out a tried and true soup recipe I got from my former roommate Jules.  I had watched Jules make cheesy chicken chowder a few times (or at least has seen the aftermath) but the finished product was so delightful I decided to try to make it on my own.  I started by slicing the veggies.  I peeled 4 potatoes and then realized that 4 potatoes was twice as many as I needed so I decided to double the recipe since the potatoes were already peeled.  I was using my food chopper to dice up carrots when the bottom fell off and diced carrots exploded all over the counter and floor.  The carrots also have a tendency to jam the spring loaded food chopper and I am always leery to stick my fingers in to pull out the offending chunk of carrots. 

I pulled out my large stock pot for its maiden voyage and simmer all the veggies.  I then dove into the next part of melting butter in another pot.  I started adding the flour as the recipe called for.  All of a sudden it switched from a liquid to a solid mass.  My first thought was “crud”.  Soup is supposed to be liquid not lumpy.  My next thought was “I should probably try a recipe once before deciding to make a double batch in case I botch something.”  I plowed forward however.  My philosophy is more keep going and see what happens.  So I did.  Next I added the milk which helped my floury mass turn back into a liquid.  I kept stirring and stirring and it became thicker, definitely more promising.

 

Then I realized what I had done.  I had made my first white sauce without realizing it.  I started mixing cheese and voila a cheese sauce.  It looked so rich and creamy.  I added the cheese sauce to the simmering vegetables and beheld my pot full of hardy soup.  I then called my mother to proclaim my excitement about white sauces and to share my joy about my accomplishment—I was giddy.  We have several containers of soup in our freezer ready to be enjoyed on a cool winter’s eve.  I feel like a squirrel gathering nuts and preparing for winter.  Omni Vincit Amor.  

Football

Alex and I both love sports.  So it should come as no surprise that a lot of our recreation is center not only in the spectating of competitions we have previously written about but also in participating.  Now often that means just Alex and I playing with one another but that doesn’t mean a pedestrian outing by any means.  Our house is strategically placed between two practice football fields, basketball and tennis courts, and two blocks from the track and football field.  When the various youth teams aren’t hogging the practice fields we can have quite a good time tossing the pigskin around.  Our outings slinging the ball back and forth, rarely could be called catch.  In my mind I am Peyton Manning or Jerry Rice and as such attention to form, concise route running, and a cerebral outlook on football schemes play an integral role in that time.  I have had my dear Alex run out routes, told her to imagine looking off the safety in cover 2, and asked her to hit me in stride when I run a go route.   While my dear Alex is a rather accurate quarterback she lacks the arm strength to throw the ball farther than 15 yards and because of this my corner, out and up, and wheel routes start 10 yards behind her.

It could perhaps be argued that a sort of intensity would diminish the relaxation factor in the R&R this activity is meant to give.  However, for at least myself and hopefully for my dear Alex, this sort of intensity is something that we have been bring to our dates for years.   Besides a previous tale about my pre-med roommate suggesting I premedicate with pain killers before going on dates with Alex, we also went on a 15 mile hike (note from Alex- it was actually 13 miles, when Arthur tells this story the hike just gets longer and longer) through a park in Kansas City.  We just both really enjoy being active.  And frankly, due to the sedentary lifestyle that college brought Arthur there is a bit of excess Arthur that needs worked off.  Running is a lot more fun when you get to catch a football.

 

Alex’s perspective:  I always enjoy a good game of catch during the fall.  I believe it was also my idea to register for a football on our wedding registery—at least I will take credit for it.  We played football quite a bit as a kid and I have worked as an athletic trainer with a college and high school football team so I have been around the sport quite a bit and have a working knowledge of the game as a spectator.  Playing “catch” with Arthur has exposed my lack of on-the-field knowledge.  He calls out routes and I have to stop him and ask him to explain exactly where he wants the ball thrown.  Of course he doesn’t run the same route more than once or twice so I can learn what the jargon means.  I would say I am an alright quarterback for a girl.  I was QB for our mighty intramural football team—our offense was more of a run game though.  I can throw a decent spiral and occasionally am pretty accurate.  I haven’t mastered the 5 step drop that Arthur is trying to teach me yet but maybe someday.  The other day he ran a route that required me to fake a pass and then hit him farther down the field.  I faked both of us out because somehow the ball got away from me on the pass fake and I had to run and grab it before I could do the actual pass.

 

Other times I am the receiver.  Arthur has had to tone down his passes if he wants me to attempt to catch them.  There may have been a few times a pass was coming in fast that I just duck and run away like a coward but I am okay with that.  Arthur has also learned when sending me out on a route he has to account for the fact that I am slower than he thinks.  I was a cross country runner so my 15 yard sprint down the field doesn’t really give me the chance to switch into a higher gear which results in a lot of over-thrown passes.  I do think Arthur does appreciate that I will toss the pigskin around which is an important wifely quality for him even if I still don’t have a clue what to do about a zone blitz.  Omnia Vincit Amor. 

Lessons Learned Living with a Girl

Alex has already written about the lessons she has learned with me.  As you can imagine, I have learned a ton on my end of things over the last couple of months living with a girl, and I think it is only fair that I get a chance to respond with my own list.

1. Girls insist on owning throw pillows, and their insistence is inexplicable.  For any bachelors reading this blog that might be blissfully unaware of what I'm talking about, a throw pillow is a pillow that is miniaturized to suboptimal dimensions.  As a pillow, it still holds a certain functionality (as I am reminded every time I use one) but their effectiveness is diminished due to their puny proportions.  Girls like to put them on their beds (which they then take off when they go to bed) and on the ends of couches (which you then have to move if you want to sit on said couch.)

2. Fashion and decoration are both multivariabled beasts.  The art of decorating a room (and apparently clothing yourself) is the application of colors, textures, and several other variables I have yet to discover into some sort of coherent menagerie, and this is a skill I have not successfully acquired.  In most every aspect of life, I have always found that if you can describe the variables and those variables' relationship to each other, you can optimize whatever you are wanting to do.  Perhaps this holds true for fashion. But there are so many variables, and frankly, I'm starting to think the rules are constantly being changed on me; and the result is I can only throw my hands up in the air in complete frustration and leave decorating to the experts (that is, Alex and her mother.)  It should be noted that Alex now allows me to dress myself but that is as far as I have advanced.

3. I went through my entire bachelor time completely unaware of how to care for a kitchen.  You apparently do not pour cold water into a skillet fresh from the oven, you don't place hot cookware on countertops, and it is an abomination to store said cookware on the oven burners (where you need them next time you use those burners).  Alex enjoys telling the story about how I had to ask if I could use the soap because she had ziplock bags over them (turns out she was allowing them to dry after washing them).  For what it's worth, Alex says I have come long way in the time we've been married.

4. Girls get cold at a much faster rate than guys do.  My dear Alex has not been a fan of leaving our bedroom fan on while we sleep, something that I rather prefer.  Fortunately, I apparently make a good space heater.

5.  Shedding.  I have found some big strands of hair in the drains, and they are quite the contrast to the 1/4 inch strands we as guys usually leave.  They aren't really a big inconvenience at all, just  a surprising factoid.

6. It's really just the converse of what Alex said earlier, but a girl's daily diet would starve a bird.  I don't know how she can subsist on the rations Alex allots for herself.

7. Alex has an eye for detail that I just don't have.  I suppose this ties in with fashion, since its just appreciating the details that she herself has so meticulously planned in our home, but she will notice the apparel and decor of other women and their homes to a degree that boggles the mind.

8. It is not fair that society expects women to spend so much time looking a certain way when men can get away with not even shaving/grooming their facial hair daily.  It's a real double standard and it completely cuts my legs out from under me when my dear wife asks me to dress a little nicer for whatever we are doing.

9. Security is big with women.  Hence we now lock the doors before going to bed, whereas I used to leave the doors unlocked, halfway hoping that intruders would come in the night so I might have the pleasure of honorably defending my home.

10. Sometimes inspite of and sometimes because of the reasons listed, plus a plethora of other reasons, life with the woman of your dreams is great.  The good things of life are that much sweeter because of my dear Alex, and the difficulties exist to prove definitively that Omnia Vincit Amore.

Flashback: Personality Test

This flashback takes us way back.  Back to a lovely spring day about 3 years ago when Arthur and I had been "intentionally hanging out" for about a month.  (We "intentionally hung out" for several months before officially dating-- Alex was a little leery of dating and committing to anything.)  On that spring day we were on a bike trail.  While we were riding along somehow the conversation lead Arthur to think it was a great time to give me a personality test.  The test included three questions.  What is your favorite animal and why?  What is your favorite natural phenomenon and why? And what is your favorite color and why?

This story focuses around the first question. Arthur asked me and I replied that I like moose because they are gangly and awkward, big, and graceful in the water.  But I have commitment issues and then changed my favorite animal to a wildebeest-- I like to cover all my bases with multiple answers.  Arthur then answered the question with a border collie because they are eager to please, obedient, and loyal.  I then asked Arthur what this question had to do with personality.  Arthur answered that the answer to your favorite animal is what you are looking for in a spouse.  At this point I'm pretty sure I turned white as a sheet or blushed- I'm not sure which.  With my answer of a moose I had basically described Arthur to a tee.  Arthur is a big guy, he is a little awkward and gangly when he tries to skip.  However, he is very athletic and was doing a lot of swimming at that time to prepare for his summer job as a lifeguard.  According to this test he was my perfect match and that terrified me at that time.  On the flip side it also scared me a little that he was looking for a "border collie" wife.  Someone who would by obedient and quick to follow his every command, who would heel right by his side wherever he went, and a gal that would fall all over herself trying to please him.  Well, that sure wasn't me.  If that is what he wants than this guy just needs to keep looking.

Interesting side story: this personality test is one that Arthur loves to give to all his friends, and it has been amazingly accurate in predicting comparability.   One friend however, gave a very memorable answer to this question: when asked what his favorite animal was, he responded with a cow.  This is hilarious enough in itself, but when he described why it get even better; he liked cows because they are "tasty, stupid, and easy to control."  This particular friend happens to still be in the market if any of you single ladies out there are interested.

Several months later we talked about this conversation again.  One reason I had been hesitant to really start dating Arthur was that he wanted a "border collie" wife.  In this later conversation I explained my feelings about this and he laughed.  He pointed out that I was only remembering part of his answer on that fateful bike ride.  His version of the answer was that border collies are incredibly intelligent, very hard workers, but also very playful in addition to loyal, obedient, and eager to please.  At that point my thought was, "Oh shoot, maybe I am little bit of a border collie."  Of course the rest of the story is history.  I married my moose and Arthur got his version of a border collie wife.  I'm pretty sure all the research and data collected by eHarmony isn't as accurate as Arthur's personality test question on this very early date to predict future matrimony.  Despite Alex's initial hesitation, Omnia Vincit Amor.

Weekend Adventures

One evening this past week, Arthur asked me at dinner if we had any plans for the weekend.  At that point we didn't have anything on the schedule yet.  He stated, "We need to do something.  We hung out around here last weekend and we can't do that again.  After all, we are young and newly married and should make the most of this point in our lives to do things so we need to have plans for the weekend."  Truthfully, we aren't as boring as we sound.  We did hang out around our place last weekend but that has been rare.  During the past month we visited Arthur's parents, went to a K-State football game, attended the Kansas State Fair, and most recently checked out the Scottish Highland Festival in McPherson.

Last year I took Arthur to the State Fair for the first time.  I grew up going every year since we lived close and I was usually involved in 4-H events at the Fair.  Arthur hadn't been until I took him on a date there last year and we had a wonderful time (also some great memories since it was the first time he said that he loved me--kind of mushy).  This year we decided to make the trip again.  On the way to the Fair we listened to a special on the radio with snippets about fairs and festivals such as a lady who carves cows out of butter, a guy who makes funnel cakes for a living, and interviews with the contestants in a husband calling contest.  Our first stop was the main attraction for us... the 4-H dog show.  We both likes dogs and my dog was a 4-H dog show champ on the county level (before she retired to napping on the back porch full time.)  Throughout the day we watched the dog agility contest off and on.  This maybe wasn't the best idea because we want a dog even more now but that wouldn't be a good idea in an apartment (especially one that doesn't allow pets.)  It is amazing what the dogs have been trained to do.  We then ambled through the 4-H and Open class exhibits.  We saw the butter sculpture and the largest pumpkin.  We then headed to check out the livestock and listened in on some dairy cow judging.  Each year at the state fair you see something you have never seen before and this year for us it was Watusi cattle.  Watusi cattle are native to Africa and have huge horns that they use like radiators to cool their blood.  They put longhorns to shame.  Of course per tradition (of two years now) we shared a funnel cake. 

Another weekend outing was to the Scottish Festival.  In preparation on Friday night we watched Braveheart so we would be in touch with our inner-Scotsman.  First of all, I have never seen more kilts in one place, but I suppose that would be expected.  We watched the Highland games for awhile off and on through out the day.  Basically for the highland game events the athletes are pretty much burly guys and gals in kilts tossing insanely heavy objects around.  One of the crowd-pleasing events was the kaber toss.  The goal is to pick up a log with the dimensions of a telephone pole, balance it while running a few steps, and then toss it in the air so it flips end over end.  Other events include using something kind of like a pitchfork to toss a small bale of hay 20 or so feet in the air or hurtling 20 pound rocks as far as possible.  While I never competed in field events in track I have watched plenty of them as an athletic trainer hoping that a hammer during the hammer toss didn't get lose and conch anyone.  Anyway, technique is key for field events and it is always a pleasure to watch someone with such good technique that it almost looks effortless to see them throw a weight through the air.

Another competition we watched was the highland dancers.  Neither of us have seen highland dance before so this was interesting.  All the dancers do the same dances- a jig, The Sailor's Hornpipe, and the Scottish Lilt- with a few variations in dance steps between competitors.  Highland dancing involves a lot of jumping, intricate stepping and footwork, and kicks.  These competitors were a different group than those competing in the Highland games (except they all wore kilts) but both events required athleticism that should be appreciated.

Throughout the day we heard lots of bag pipe music.  I am not musical at all, and I love a good bag pipe, but it always sounds like they are playing one of two songs-- either Amazing Grace or a bag pipe song that isn't Amazing Grace.

Another highlight was watching sheepdog demonstrations.  Arthur had a border collie growing up and has a deep love for this breed so he was pretty excited to get the chance to watch some in action working sheep- so much that we watched the demonstration multiple times.  These dogs go after their work with such intensity-- it is obvious they love and live for herding sheep.  Yet again, it was amazing to watch the grace and skill that these highly trained dogs, as well as their trainer, exhibited.  I joked with Arthur that he's a lot like a border collie.  He has a passion for his work and does his job with such intensity that it is very hard to distract him.  The trainer also made the comment that the dogs don't make good house dogs because if they don't have a job or task to do they get into trouble easily.  I made that same comment to Arthur that morning in the kitchen when he was playing around, creating mischief, until I had him put away dishes.

We also tried some Scottish fare for lunch.  Arthur had the brilliant idea that we have some haggis.  I said sure, not really knowing what I was doing.  Luckily that line was too long so we had steak bridie, a meat filled pastry, instead.  I just looked up what haggis is and am very glad I didn't have to partake in it.  Here is the description from Wikipedia.  "Haggis is a savory pudding containing sheep's  heart, liver, and lungs, minced with onion, oatmeal, spices, and salt, and traditionally encased in the animal's stomach and simmered for approximately three hours". Dodged a bullet there.

Really our weekend adventures have taken us to experience a lot of new things.  One of my thoughts has been that we love competition.  At least for me it has been refreshing to see more of the less-mainstream competitions in a culture that is tuned into ESPN and athlete's every move.  While none of these competitions drew huge crowds of screaming fans, the competitors still put in a lot of time and effort to achieve what they did.  Sure we enjoyed the traditional athletic competition like the K-State football game but have also enjoyed watching the thrill of victory when a lady broke a world's record in the highland games, or there was the frustration of a 4-H when her dog wouldn't listen to commands, or the disappointment of a highland dancer when her shoe came untied causing her to miss several steps in her performance.  It is all part of the human experience.  Sometimes life gives you funnel cake, and sometimes you get haggis but omnia vincit amor.

Sloppy Joe Saga

Tonight we had sloppy joes for dinner.  I dislike sloppy joes. A lot.  And I don't think sloppy joes will ever be served again in our household.  (Starting after we finish the leftovers in the fridge.)  As a kid, I (Alex) never liked sloppy joes and usually avoided eating them when I could.  And now that I am in charge of calling the shots for meal planning, shopping, and cooking, one would think I wouldn't have too.  However, there is this one can of sloppy joe sauce that has ended up in my pantry.  I am sure that my well-meaning mother sent it with me to school in Kansas City so that I would have supplies for an easy meal.  The one thing sloppy joes have going for them is that it was pretty easy to fix.  This can got pushed to the back of my pantry and stayed there since I don't like sloppy joes.  I then moved and this can went home with me and all my stuff.  I then spent several weeks on a clinical living in an empty house so my mother sent me off on this journey with some food so at least I would have something to eat and this can went with me.  Of course, I had more than enough food so I never ate sloppy joes and this can moved back home with me once again.  I then moved into a place of my own when we got married so this sloppy joe sauce made that trip as well.

And it has sat in our cabinet to this day.  I finally got tired of moving this particular can and decided this afternoon to bite the bullet and make sloppy joes.  I had several projects going on around the house and had just browned a few pounds of ground beef so sloppy joes was the easy answer for dinner.  Arthur got home from work and asked what smelled so delicious for dinner (he's pretty good at earning those husband points).  I told him we were having sloppy joes since I dragged this can of sauce all over the state for the past year and was plum tired of it being in pantry and my life.  Surely I was remembering sloppy joes as worse than they really are.  Sadly I wasn't.  Arthur and I sat down to dinner and I ate everything else on my plate until all that was left was the sloppy joe staring back at me.  I took a few bites hoping each would be better than the last.  I then wished that the bites would make the half eaten sandwich disappear faster.  By this time Arthur was finished eating and starting on the dishes.  The next bite caused my gag reflex to kick in.  Now Arthur was thoroughly enjoying himself watching me struggle.  He then started to cheer, Alex, Alex, Alex.  I asked for another glass of milk to help wash it down with.  At some point we looked at the can and saw that it is advertised to contain a full serving of vegetables.  Arthur then questioned why I served him carrot sticks if he was already getting a full serving of veggies.  Maybe what I told my parents all along is true that I have adverse reactions too large doses of veggies causing my throat to close up.  Finally, after about 25 minutes that seemed like an eternity, the last bite of sloppy joe was swallowed and my plate was clean.  At least until we have left over sloppy joes.  Omnia Vincit Amor. 

Lessons I have learned living with a guy

Over the past several years I have lived the life of a single young female adult.  One aspect of this lifestyle is having roommates.  I have gotten to live with a bunch of great women and now all of a sudden I find myself married.  This put an end of my "single" lifestyle which means I now have a permanent roommate who happens to be a guy.  Thank goodness I wasn't completely caught off guard since I have had previous experience living with guys since I grew up with two brothers.  However, it is still a little bit of an adjustment.  In college I lived in an all-female dorm for 4 years.  At times there was a lot of drama but also a lot of giggling and fun.  Another summer I worked at a camp and share 1 room filled with bunk beds with 14 other gals-- lots of female bonding there as well.  After so many years of living with ladies, here are the lessons and observations I have compiled from several weeks of living with Arthur.

1. Guys require much less time in the bathroom.  Significantly less.  Arthur can shower in less than a minute.  By the time I get ready in the morning (and I like to think that I am fairly quick for a female) he has showered, dressed, gotten ready for work, and has breakfast on the table.  They also have less bathroom stuff.  I put my stuff in a drawer and 2 shelves of the bathroom.  I worried about him having enough storage for his bathroom stuff.  I didn't realize that the few items he had on the counter were all he had.

2. Guys require more food.  Arthur has been amazed by my portion sizes and I have been amazed by the amounts he can consume without ill effects.  While we were dating I once prepared him lunch of a can of soup.  That was it.  It would have been a very satisfactory meal for my roommate and I but I don't think it made a dent in his hunger.  I think I have now figured out how to set enough on the table to satisfy his hunger (at least that is what he is telling me but we are newly married still so he may not be completely honest about my cooking yet.)

3. Guys like to drive.  This has been wonderful.  He opens the door for me, gets in, and then whisks me off to our destination.  It could be that he likes driving his car so much he likes to hog it.  I appreciate it since I am not a huge fan of driving and I can also take a nap.  My job is co-pilot.  I provide snacks, entertainment, and navigation skills.  It works best for both of us.

4. Guys respond well when requests are preceded with a kiss.  This was a trick Arthur taught me early and it has worked well.  Anytime I give directions or ask for something (basically when I am bossy, usually this is in the kitchen) I need to give him a quick kiss first.  He is becoming some of the best kitchen help around.

5. Don't make big plans on Thursday evenings.  Sport Illustrated arrives on Thursdays.  Often after dinner Arthur will grab the magazine and wander downstairs to his man-cave and be happy for hours.  (In all honesty, I usually get to read Sports Illustrated at lunch on Thursdays at work so we don't have to fight over one copy.)

6. Guys get really excited about protecting their home from intruders.  It has been interesting to see our different views on home security.  I have lived in Kansas City or in random other places alone for the past several years.  Anytime my mother calls I am always asked if the doors are locked, etc.  So this is just a habit I have gotten into.  Arthur doesn't worry so much about locking doors, especially before I started living with him.  I think he would almost leave the door open with an invitation so he could beat up anyone who tried to enter his domain.  I think he also takes great pride in investigating any unusual noises.

7.  While guys are thrilled to be protectors, they also relish in the sneak attack.  Only a few times in college did random people jump out of my clothes at me or did I get shot with a nerf gun while brushing my teeth.  Now, though, I'm never sure if he is hiding behind the door or camouflaged under the comforter on the bed just waiting for me, unsuspecting prey, to wander by.

8.  Guys have a certain large-ness.  Arthur's clothes are much bigger than mine so they fill up the laundry basket faster than I would expect.  He has a larger appetite (see #2).  This requires frequent snacking as well.  Guys take up more space.  I'm not sure our bed is split 50-50 but at least I haven't been rolled over the edge yet.  Arthur just doesn't fit in my car very well.  He almost has to open the sunroof so there is space for his head.  When we run together his stride is twice as long as mine so I have to take so many more steps (I suppose this is how the shorter girls I use to run against felt.)  When we bought our wedding rings we had a hard time finding the correct sizes since my fingers are pretty small and Arthur has thick, "man-hands".

9. Guys are strong.  I have come to realize that just because I'm sitting on the couch doesn't mean Arthur won't come along and decide that I need to be moved elsewhere, such as another seat on the couch, and there is not much I can do about it.  Parents sometimes talk about how controlling their kids becomes a little more challenging when they grow and they can't pick them up or move them by physical force.  Arthur doesn't have that problem.  If I am being stubborn or a little ornery he just moves me out of the way.  I think this is a very unfair advantage, however he may be able to get me to do what he wants with brute strength, I get him to do what I want with smooches (see #4), so it all works out.

10.  Guys are a lot of fun to live with, or at least mine is.  Everyday he surprises with something... breaking out in random snatches of song, dancing to rap music in the kitchen, making breakfast for me even when he has to leave for work early.  While I'm sure there will continue to be more lessons to learn about living with this guy, it is never a bore.  Somethings I just don't understand, but after all, Omnia Vincit Amor.

The Word

Every week the church we are going to reads 2 Timothy 3:16-17 before the sermon:

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. 

So far each week it has been in a different translation and so far this has been one of my (Alex's) favorite parts of the service.  What a great reminder that Scripture is living and active today.  It is useful and applicable in our lives.  It encourages or, as my high school Bible study leaders put it, it can step on your toes sometimes when you need it.  Scripture is some powerful stuff.

At times we may underestimate the power of being in God's Word consistently.  To borrow an analogy from Sunday's sermon, think of a slow, steady drip of water pouring over a rock that over the years wears the rock into a shallow basin.  Sudden torrents of water would just rush over the top of the rock, but a slow drip makes slow changes in the rock's surface.  I thought this was a great reminder that "torrential" experiences don't have the impact to change our rock-hard hearts that way constant exposure to the Word does.  Sometimes I wish I could soak up everything from a Bible study or sermon series all at once.  One thing Arthur has learned about me that probably drives him nuts is if I have a mission or a project I like to go at it full speed ahead.

In the past I have tried to read the Bible in a year.  That is all fine and good but what did I miss since I had to get my 4.7 chapters of reading in everyday?  I am happy to announce this year I am only on the reading for July 14th-- a whole 2 months behind.  Truthfully, I am not behind because I was taking a lot of time to meditate on passages in 2 Chronicles, but I haven't let my falling behind bother me.  I once read an article about if we read the Bible in a lifetime instead of a year.  After all there isn't deadlines or quotas on the number of pages you have to turn.  This article suggested taking one book at a time and reading through that book multiple times so the story becomes very familiar and you can catch more of the details, context, and themes.  After all we shouldn't be in a rush with God's Word, He will continue to use it to shape us and mold us throughout a lifetime.

This lead to me spending 2 months studying 1 Timothy.  1 Timothy only has 6 chapters and it took me 2 months.  But I found something new the 3rd time I read it, gained a different perspective the 7th time, was challenged by something in my life the 16th time I read those words, and had an idea for a ministry opportunity the 19th time.  That slow drip of God's Word continually carving out my heart of stone or as The Message translates 2 Timoty 3:17:  Through the word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us.  Omnia Vincit Amor.

"Squirrel!"

One strange way we interact (yes, there are several) is the exchange of new expressions and terms that came about through a mutual love of Dug, the golden retriever from UP.  If you haven’t seen UP you are really missing out, but to give you some context about what we are talking about, UP is the story of a gruff older man named Carl who fills his house with balloons so he can float his house to Paradise Falls, South America (it’s like America... but south) to fulfill a promise to his late wife.  He is accompanied by the stowaway wildlife adventurer, Russell, a 10 year old kid who  needs to help the elderly to obtain a merit badge.  More important than achieving the goals they set out for is their need to fill the gaps in their lives; Carl, the gap left vacant by the passing of his beloved life, and Russell, the gap left by the absence of his father.

You may be thinking at this point that this is a heart-warming Hallmark movie but instead this is a Pixar comedy (although the first 8 minutes are a real tear-jerker).  The light side of the story is provided by Dug and Kevin.  Dug is a dog with a voice collar on a special mission tracking Kevin, the exotic bird which is the object of Dug’s special mission.  If you have ever wondered what is going on inside the head of man’s best friend, the fellows at Pixar definitely made a good stab at it. Quotes from Dug have become a staple around our house. 

Consequently, in the mornings when we wake up we may look at each other and say—“I hid under your porch because I love you.”  When we want to talk about things we may want to do someday we might say- “I am a good tracker, I am on a special mission.”  For comedy relief during a heated discussion—“Squirrel!” 

All of this may seem quirky and a little off, but if I may be philosophical for a moment.  Dug is a beautiful example of unconditional love--- “I just met you but I love you.”  In Dug we see a perfect example of submission out of love—“Please be my master.” 

Dale Carnegie once wrote in How to Win Friends and Influence People that we should look at a dog to see how to really love people and Dug typifies that.  Though it seems quirky that Alex and I should exchange quotes from an animated dog we think it is a great part of our new culture and is in complete keeping in the spirit of this blog.  Omnia Vincit Amor. 

Charlie

Something that we care about and paid attention to every morning and evening is Charlie.  No, Charlie is not a dog, a fish, or animate object.  Charlie is my dear Alex’s iPod.  Now I know what you must be thinking sitting there and rolling your eyes thinking about how this new generation cannot exist without their technology. But Charlie’s appeal is not in his ability to play our music, the game Angry Birds, or any sort of communication with our friends.  No, Charlie has an incredible app that allows us to read the meditations of Charles Spurgeon’s devotional Morning and Evening.  (This is how the iPod was dubbed Charlie.  We often shout across the house at breakfast—Do you know where Charlie is at so we can do our morning devotional?)

For those of you who may not be familiar with Charles Spurgeon, just know that he was an English theologian whose style I could only characterize as C.S. Lewis-like, a man of vast intellect coupled with a poet’s heart.  The meditation usually starts with just a verse or two and from that verse will flow Spurgeon’s thoughts about it and what it tells us about God’s character and our relationship with him.  Alex and I have both been really blessed in that we both received an excellent Bible education growing up and because of that we can really appreciate the various references to passages scattered throughout the Bible that Spurgeon will use.  The metaphors and poetic language that Spurgeon draws from Scripture come out as fluently as most of us can talk about our everyday lives.  (Side note: Spurgeon’s writings are fluid and lyrical unless Alex is trying to read aloud with all of the old English wordings that are strange and get tangled at her tongue, but I enjoy watching her try.) 

Besides Charlie, our devotional time usually entails something that neither Alex or myself ever did growing up—we sing a hymn.  Back when I was at the university, the church I attended started the Hymnal Project, a compilation of hymns and songs that the people of his church found meaningful and design particularly for individual family worship time.  I was very excited by this and got my own copy and Alex perhaps less excitedly agreed to make singing a part of every day’s devotional.  It has been something that allows us to get our minds and hearts geared toward praising our Lord every day and is something that we both have grown to enjoy.  Recently Alex has gotten us on a Stuart Townsend kick and Arthur perhaps suffering from a mild case of chronological snobbery has been forced to admit that there are people writing wonderful hymns even today (which would make it contemporary  music).  Alex’s favorite hymn “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us” is written by Townsend.  It was probably good I didn’t realize this was a “new” hymn when Alex suggested we sing it at our wedding but I found the lyrics incredibly moving.  Alex has never been crazy about singing and will usually only sing during a church service when it is obligatory but rarely outside of that.  Now I have her singing hymns with me each day.  Alex was talking to one of her close friends a few weeks ago and mentioned that we sing hymns each morning as part of our devotional.  Her friend, knowing very much that Alex detests singing replied, ”It’s official, you are really  in love with him  if Arthur can get you to sing.”  Omnia Vincit Amor.

Musicals

Marriage is a creation of a distinct culture.  Every family has one, and while it could be characterized as an example of say, "Midwest conservative Christian culture", any given family and their practices and customs will differ from any other one.  Something that I (Arthur) like to think about is culture, how it's formed, benefits and drawbacks to individual cultures, and what that means about how we should live our lives and what we should allow to influence us.  As a result, it's fun for me to sit back and reflect about this little culture currently forming between Alex and myself.

One surprising aspect of our culture, at least to me, has been the use of musicals as entertainment.  I came from a family where I would say action and comedy movies were probably more the order of the day (though I had a grandpa who got a lot of enjoyment out of Laurence Welk song and dance numbers.)  Therefore, it has really been surprising to me how much I've enjoyed the musicals Alex and I have watched together.

It could be argued that our first date together was going to a musical.  A fraternity brother was in our university's production of "Guys and Dolls," and Alex's brother Arnold and I decided we would take our sisters to the performance.  Alex, of course, was oblivious to this, but I was more or less scouting her out as a girl I would like to get to know.  Anyhow, it was great, my favorite song being the Tin Horn Fugue (truth be told, I'm just a sucker for a good fugue.)  A fugue is comprised of independent melodies combined together by a common theme that's introduced at the beginning of the piece.  Johann Sebastian Bach, perhaps the greatest composer to ever draw breath, was the only major composer to do fugues; Beethoven and Mozart left them completely alone.  Some guy went and did it with lyrics.  That might be the pinnacle of musicianship.

The first musical we watched while actually dating was "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers," and to be completely honest that was much more a selection for Alex's sake than any personal enthusiasm about the movie.  Despite that fact, it was really good, and there's a scene in there where the brothers in question sing a song while swinging around axes.  I may be wrong, but that movie was made about 50 years ago and I don't think those were fake axes, so I got to give a ton of respect to those guys.  Consequently, this movie was deemed manly enough that it might be enjoyed on its merits instead of just as an appeasement to my lovely bride to be.  Note from Alex:  It also contains some of the best dance scenes and portrays male dancers as pretty athletic.

Since that time, we have seen "The Musicman," "The Fantastiks!," "The Fiddler on the Roof," "Les Miserables," and "Hello, Dolly."  I guess computers have given us some cool things, but they sure haven't made us more creative.  We've already given a critique of the latest Superman movie that was 75% special effects and fight scenes, and it is sad to think that we rely on that sort of thing to produce a movie instead of music, screenwriting, and choreography.

Anyway, all this to say that musicals are a part of Alex and I's developing family culture.  It is not one that I would have thought about or expected, but it is yet another way that our marriage has broadened my horizons. Omnia vincit amor!