Fatherly Words of Wisdom

"Well, why not?  What else are you going to do?"  These weren't exactly the words I was expecting my dad to say when I mentioned the possibility of spending the summer in Alaska.  I was expecting something more like "Why don't you get a job that pays, after all money doesn't grow on tree and you are in grad school" or "What are you thinking you might get eaten by bears" or some other fatherly phrase that shuts the door on even the best laid plans.  I was bringing up the subject more so that someone would flat tell me that it was a crazy idea and then I would move on with finding reasonable summer plans.  Instead he encouraged my crazy idea and I had an unforgettable summer working at a camp in Alaska.

Dad has exposed me to a variety of different experiences.  One tradition my father started was as we became teenagers we could go on a 1-on-1 trip with him somewhere in the US.  Dad and I went to Maine and spent a few days on a windjammer cruise (think large sailboat).  Our cabin was the size of a closet and I don't think Dad slept the entire time because the bunks were not his size. For landlubbers from Kansas this was a step out of our comfort zones.  As we were sitting on an uninhabited island using a rock to try to beat our lobsters that we were having for dinner we decided that even though the lobster was good, steak is a lot less work.

Our next adventure together involved a spring break trip to the United Arab Emirates to visit Dad's brother and his family.  None of us had flown overseas before or experience anything like a Middle Eastern culture.  We ate Lebanese food (this was another stretch for my meat and potatoes father), visited the Grand Mosque, and experienced a little taste of metropolitan life in a foreign country.

My dad comes across as a fairly stoic, quiet man but sometimes what he does say leaves an impression.  He has classic "dad-isms" like "Don't make me pull this car over" and "That was totally uncalled for".  Dad was always one of our biggest fans when it came to watching our sporting events.  He suffered through two children being distance runners-- wind, heat, cold, rain, driving for hours to see his kid run by for about 20 seconds, or sitting through a long track meeting waiting for the 2 mile race-- until my younger brother, the basketball and football star came along.  Nevertheless, he was always there to support us.  The "dad-ism" I remember from track was when I was buying a new pair of spikes and he commented, "Those shoes look pretty fast, your times better be fast with those on your feet."

My father also played a big role in my journey through high education (besides providing cash flow, which was greatly appreciated).  My senior year of high school Dad took me to an interview at K-State for one of the top scholarship for incoming freshman.  I was slightly intimidated by having to interview with deans and other big-wigs from campus and after meeting the other students interviewing who were majoring in international business with a minor in Chinese and Middle Eastern politics or another student who just spent the summer doing research on elephants in Africa.  My college goals were to become an athletic trainer-- tape ankles, make Gatorade, and maybe get a star athlete back on the field after an ACL tear.  I didn't feel like I belonged with group of up-and-coming world changers.  Dad reassured me that my goals and aspirations were unique but important too and the interview committee cared more about how we "think" rather than our future plans.  He also strongly encouraged--or maybe even forced me--to step out of my comfort zone to introduce myself to several of the important people there instead of just waiting to be noticed.  My dad, who probably likes meeting new people less than I do, set the example by chatting with the other people in attendance.  While I am still not an expert nor do I always enjoy it, this experience taught me to have the confidence to put myself out there in groups of people.  Luckily over the past decade meeting new people has become easier which is good since I meet 3-4 new patients a day and have to delve into some type of small talk.  My father's other words of wisdom when it came to determining my choice of college when I had narrowed it down between applying to Duke and K-State was, "You can go to Duke, but your tuition money is going to K-State"-- thanks Dad for making that choice easier.

Dad's role in my higher education continued as I went onto grad school (at KU even and I don't think he wrote me out of the will for that).  As kids he always told us, "Whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger", and this was very true about the rigors of grad school.  He would often call to check to see how I did on tests or projects.  One of my favorite memories of my dad was the weekend of my graduation.  He picked up my doctoral tam (why do they make you wear such ridiculous hats?), put it on, and did a jig around our hotel room.  The man was obviously thrilled and maybe even ecstatic that his children were done with high learning and were all gainfully employed.  I also use my favorite "dad-ism" almost daily at work as my physical therapy motto, "It will feel better when it quits hurting".  Omnia Vincit Amor.