That's an Impressive Man Card

You either are a man or you aren't.  The age of manhood may vary slightly from culture to culture; in some traditions there might even be a checklist of rituals one must perform to attain the status, but in the end, it is still a yes or no proposition.  Manliness, in contrast, exists on a continuum; it is generally recognized that one can be more or less manly depending on their actions or attitudes.

I am proud to announce, that as of yesterday afternoon, my manliness bumped upward.  Yesterday, a highly anticipated package arrived in the mail: my safety razor kit.  The cost savings and claims of better performance had me intrigued, so I took the plunge.  

Serious thought was given to the straight razor, but my CFO (Alex) wouldn't sign off on the purchase. Some sort of argument about how when the product invented to replace another has "safety" in the name, the original was probably not safe.  I would argue that if the high voltages and large machinery I work around daily fall into the "acceptable risk" category, straight razors probably shouldn't be a problem.  But alas, marriage brings many compromises, and I am pretty happy with the purchase I did get approval for.

Safety razor is an apt name: the handle design ensures that the razor makes contact only when the razor is held at a specified angle.  There were many times during my first shave that I found myself holding the razor at too shallow or too deep an angle to have the razor engage.  Should you manage to cut yourself, the small length of exposed razor means you cannot go very deep. 

Safety razors may not do any better job than disposable cartridges making your face smoother (they are certainly not worse), but they definitely have an advantage around the upper lip and (if your beard forms this way) right underneath you ear lobes.  In my experience, cartridges have enough bulk to them that they can't reach where a man's beard usually begins underneath the perpendicular projection of a man's proboscis.  The safety razor is capable of easily reaching these areas.  I have been more satisfied with the finished product of my shaving than I ever have been.

There are of course some accessories to enhance the shaving process.  My next step is to purchase some actual shaving soap, not the foamy stuff that comes in an aerosolized can.  Then I'll be able to use my badger hair shaving brush (speaking of manly, who do you think they get to shave the badger?) to form a rich lather and do work.  This, too, is projected to be cost saving in the long run, with the added bonus of being a more environmentally friendly endeavor.

So anyway, manliness takes many forms.  The dapper James Bond with his tailored suits and impeccable grooming has for years served, for better or worse, as a paradigm of manliness.  Of course, his immaculate ablutions are also tempered with near omnicompetence and the ability to thrash his enemies.  So it is that I, too, will set out for work, well shaved, and those inefficient manufacturing processes best get to cowering in the corner before they find themselves in a world of hurt.  I leave you now with our customary closing that might seems out of keeping with this closing paragraph, Omnia Vincit Amor.