Weekend Trip

This weekend we departed from home to visit Arthur’s parents.  After the car ride, half of which Arthur slept, we reached our destination and were treated to wonderful homemade pizza, which was especially good due to the mushrooms (an indulgence Arthur doesn’t get at home since Alex has some issues with eating fungi- she is trying to overcome this slowly.)  That evening we played Settlers of Catan with Arthur’s parents; who, while initially hesitant about playing, caught on and maybe will be willing to play again if the opportunity comes up.  Alex seemed to particularly enjoy watching the always competitive Arthur submit to some not so beneficial trades so that his parents could learn the game a little easier (he was encouraged to play nicely, instead of being out for blood, since these are the people that brought him into the world and raised him).  Arthur just looks forward to the next time they play since he won’t have to play as nice. 

The next day we enjoyed sleeping in late.  In the afternoon we went to Arthur’s grandmother’s house and with the help of his dad and uncle installed a handrail to make the basement more accessible.  It was fun except we had to drill into a concrete wall.  Arthur’s uncle really showed him up when drilling the holes for one of the brackets but it turned out that Arthur was trying to bore a hole through a rock.  After a run to the hardware store for a different insert the job was done and Arthur had the satisfaction of getting to use his power tools. 

Alex declined being involved in the handyman project and took off on a nice afternoon run instead.  Arthur’s hometown has considerably more hills that Alex would prefer but she was able to find some flatter roads to get out and enjoy the glorious weather and work off some of the multiple slices of pie that were consumed over the weekend.

On the subject of pie, it should be noted in Arthur’s house affection is shown by preparing vast quantities of food, and the acceptance of said affection is achieved by consuming these large quantities.  Case in point, for 7 people Arthur’s grandmother prepared a cherry pie, an apple pie, a chocolate pie, and ice cream dessert.   Needless to say we are both very well feed and greatly loved.

On Sunday we went to Arthur’s home church.  It was a unique day in that a band called Seventh Day Slumber led the service.  They had been invited by the youth group leader at the church and had given a concert the night before.  While they don’t necessarily play the style of music that is often heard at this church, their story and their heart for God certainly moved everyone in attendance. 

And so after a final meal and watching the Spurs versus the Heat game which Arthur’s Spurs sadly lost, our adventure has come to an end.  It was a fun weekend and leaves us ready to attack this next work week.  Omnia Vincit Amor.

On thin ice

We recently spent a Saturday afternoon ice skating.  On one of our dates last year Arthur took me ice skating and we both really enjoyed it.  Arthur had been ice skating once in his life previously to this date.  Let's just say that last year Arthur had some hard lessons to learn about gravity.  This year he was able to stay on his feet the whole time.  While skating I made the following observations:

- Apparently a lot of couples go ice skating on dates.  There were two or three of these couples the afternoon we went.  One of the guys had a pretty good wipe out and then stayed near the wall most of the time.  Another gent was pretty wobbly so he conveniently locked arms with his girlfriend to help stay on his feet.  (Sorry Arthur but if you are about to fall down on the ice I'm going to clear out of the way-- just being truthful).  Did the guys plan these dates because they enjoy ice skate or was it the gals idea?  Or have they been watching too many Rocky movies for potential date ideas such as when Rocky took Adrian skating?

- High school kids tend to stand in clumps wherever they go.  At a dance, at a mall, and even in the middle of the skating rink.  They created even more obstacles to skate around than the little kids all over the place-- at least the little kids were moving.

- In most of my experience skating the majority of people just aren't very good at skating.  I suppose the one reason for this is living in a state where winter sports are basically ignored-- which is just too bad.  Out of about 50 people skating, two or three stood out has having some skill and they were the employees.  About 20 people seemed relatively safe on skates, and the other 30 will keep physical therapists all over the area busy for the next few months with ankle and wrist sprains.

-I also wondered what possessed parents of toddlers who can barely walk to try ice skating-- that just seems like a lot of fun for everyone.

- Finally, I was wondering why the good looking guy over on the bench was reading a book on soldering at a skating rink.  Nobody does that, except my husband.  Omni Vincit Amor.

Spinning our wheels and not going anywhere

Our Christmas gift to each other this year was getting an indoor training stand for my bike.  This piece of equipment transforms my regular bike into a stationary bike.  This is something I have thought about getting for a few years and have enjoyed it tremendously this past month.  It takes up a lot less space than a stationary bike and we get to ride my bike which I feel is much more comfortable (I think Arthur's backside is slowly adjusting as well now.)  Most evenings you will find us taking turns jumping on the bike for a half hour to an hour pedaling miles but never leaving the comfort of our home.  This is so nice now that it is dark when we get home and cold out.  It also beats having to make a trip down to the gym to work out when we just head down to the basement. The bike has also been key to some of our New Year Resolutions-- Arthur's quest to get in better shape and mine to "ride" around the perimeter of Kansas.  This evening I logged mile 100 while watching Rocky I during his training segment as he ran up the steps in triumph.

We have been trying to establish an exercise routine.  For a few weeks Arthur would clump up and down the stairs listening to basketball games.  I think we both feel that the bike is a big improvement.  We will either tune into a TV series or put in a movie and instead of kicking back and relaxing we will pedal and pedal and pedal.  Hopefully we can get Arthur his own bike before next spring so when the weather is nicer we can both it the open road and actually get the thrill of changing scenery and wind in our faces (although if you turn on our fan in the basement on high you kind of get the same effect).  The downside so far has only been a few marital arguments about whose turn it is to get on the bike.  Omni Vincit Amor.

New Year’s Resolutions

At breakfast on New Year’s Day we discuss making New Year’s resolutions.  We know that most people don’t keep their resolutions but I think it is good to evaluate once in a while where you are at and where you are going.  Someone once said if you aren’t headed anywhere in life you will probably get there.  So we each thought of some resolutions based on four areas: physical, spiritual, relational, intellectual.

For physical Alex is going to try to ride about 1200 miles on a bike which would be equal to riding around the perimeter of Kansas.  Arthur’s goal is to get in shape for possibly running some type of race.  Arthur’s brother in law would love to compete in a Tough Mudder race.  This race is like an obstacle course on steroids- around 10 miles with climbing walls, barbwire fences, etc.  Arthur likes this idea but cringes at the thought of jumping into ice cold water.

As for spiritual goals Arthur is going to try to memorize a book of the Bible and Alex wants to be more consistent with her personal Bible Study. 

In the relational area one of our focuses will be developing relationships with the Youth Group kids we work with and keeping up with friends from college.

For intellectual we both want to spend some time increasing and honing our professional skills.  I think we have both realized that being out of school we have to work even harder on our own now because our professions involve much more than we learned in textbooks.  We also want to continue reading a variety of books and watching documentaries—there is just so much to learn about in this world. Omnia Vincit Amor.

The Competitive Spirit

We might be a slightly competitive couple.  Just slightly.  Sometime we will have to share the story of our decathlon date.  This past week has provided us with many competitive opportunities which we have enjoyed, starting with this weekend when we met with Arthur's family for a belated Christmas gathering. We had dinner and then hit the bowling alley.  I think it is safe to say that none of us are stellar bowlers, but we had a good time.  Arthur and I have been bowling together once before (strangely enough it was an event during our decathlon date.)  I would also mention I was on the 4th place intramural bowling team one year.  Granted there were only 4 teams.  I will blame part of our team's poor performance on the fact my bowling was hampered by a broken finger suffered in intramural flag football.  Last weekend Arthur and I split games- he won one and I won one so it was even (I may have had the high game score though).  Now about every day Arthur wants to go bowling.

We also got the game Settlers of Catan from Arthur's parents for Christmas.  We have only had it a few days but have already played several games.  In the game you are trying to settle an island and have different resources.  You can trade resources with other players and want to get enough resources to build settlements and cities to expand you territory.  It might be the one strategy game that Arthur and I both like and enjoy playing together.  It's also been pretty equal on who wins.  The first time I played Settlers was with a group of Arthur and his friends.  I had no idea what the strategy was for the game and the whole time the guys were talking about economics and politics as relating to the games.  About half way through the game I realized that I didn't know the objective of the game or how it is determined who wins.  Once this was explained to me I figured out that I was a few points from winning and started paying attention, and I pulled out the upset.  We also played this game with my family a few weekends ago.  Certain members of my family gets so competitive that other members won't play board games with them.

Which brings us to the other competition we have been involved in lately.  This was the 10th Annual Family Bowl Champion Series.  Each year we all pick the winners of 10 bowl games.  Whoever picks the most games right wins the coveted BCS Bowl-- a large blue popcorn bowl full of snacks and the winner's name written on the side in black marker.  Over the years this has turned into quite a tradition.  One rule that has developed is that significant others can begin to participate once they are engaged to a member of the family but cannot be a winner until they are legally family.  This year we almost had to enforce this rule but my brother's fiance ended up getting second.  My sister-in-law pulled out the victory.  It actually came down to a 4 way tie going into the final game and my sister-in-law won in a double tie breaker by picking the margin of victory correctly.  Arthur and I came in about the middle of the pack so I wasn't able to defend my win last year.

While Arthur and I enjoy competing against one another (and maybe rubbing it in when we win), I think we also make a really great team working together.  Omnia Vincit Amor.

Marriage advice we have learned from 6 months of experience

Alex’s younger brother Arnold just got engaged last week.  (Congrats!)  Also Alex and Arthur are celebrating 6 months of marriage this upcoming week.  We were talking about our marriage and thinking about what might be helpful for this young couple to know before they tie the knot as we were writing this post.  So here’s what we have learned in 6 months of marital bliss.

1. Say yes.  This is something we read in a marriage book that we borrowed from Alex’s older brother and wife.  The idea is that if one spouse asks something do what you can to make the answer yes.  The more often you say yes to one another the better since it creates a positive cycle of taking care of each other’s needs.  “Arthur, could you make the bed—Sure.”  “Alex, could you pick up some tooth paste at the store—You bet.”

2. Let grace be your default reaction.  This is Arthur’s go-to relationship advice.  When situations or conflicts come up you make a choice about how you will respond—anger, silence, a snarky remark, etc.  We have tried to give the other person the benefit of the doubt before getting upset.  After all, we are called to become more like Christ and Christ’s default response towards each of us is grace, thank goodness.

3. Spend time with God together every day. We have shared before about our devotional time in the mornings in a past post.   A good marriage is more than just two people, but a husband, a wife, and the Lord, so spend time with God.  We have really been blessed by reading a devotional each morning and singing hymns together.

4. Use the local library to save money for good dates.  A lot of marriage advice says to keep dating.  We agree.  Using the library makes this pretty easy.  DVDs for movie night, audiobooks for car trips together, books to discuss with one another, occasionally events, presentations, lectures, etc.  Also comfy couches to spend some time reading if you need to get out of the house.

5.  Say hello and good bye with a kiss.  Before we each head out the door for the day we kiss and we kiss again when we get home for the evening.  Additionally, whenever Alex gives Arthurs suggestions about how to do something in the kitchen, the suggestion is better received if accompanied with a kiss.

6. Be okay with not doing things your way.  This is called compromise.  There are a lot of things that really aren’t a big deal.  For whatever reason, sometimes it is really easy to let them become a big deal.  Ask yourself if this is something you would do for a good friend visiting for a few days.  Your spouse is a closer friend than anyone who would be a guest in your home, so you should try to accommodate them more.  Translation: Arnold, you will probably have more throw pillows than is logical or necessary.

7.  Whoever doesn’t cook gets to do the dishes.  Alex has probably only washed dishes a handful of times in the past few months.  Arthur does a great job and we really enjoy cleaning up the kitchen together, Arthur at the sink and Alex packing lunches or putting things away.

8. Get a couch.  The first few weeks of our marriage we had two recliners in our living room.  We then were given a couch and the recliners were moved downstairs.  That couch has been the hub of activity in our living room for sitting and reading, watching Netflix, and it is also easier to snuggle up together.

9. Understand that men can only focus on one thing at once.  Don’t try to make them multitask.  He still loves you even when it seems like he isn’t paying attention, but he just has less connections between the two hemispheres of his brain.  (If you need a man’s full attention, weekends during sporting events is not the time to discuss important matters of state.)

10. Continue to cultivate an appreciation for beauty outside of your marriage.  Remember that marriage cannot make you happy nor can it make you miserable.  Your ability to appreciate marriage stems from your own personal character.  Continuing to learn to appreciate and give thanks for the things around you will add to a happy marriage because it adds to a happy and joyful life.

11. Talk to someone with more than 6 months of experience because we frankly have no idea what we are doing but trying to learn more each day

Learning to survive

On New Year's Day Arthur and I watched several episodes of Dual Survival, one of our new faves on Netflix.  Dual Survival pairs Dave, an Army ranger, with Cody, a barefoot hippie who specializes in primitive survival.  Occasionally their personalities and backgrounds clash so it is a little bit like Survivor but more legit.  As we sat in our warm home with it snowing outside we have watched episodes about surviving in underwater caves in Belize, jungles of Laos, volcanic and desert valleys in Peru, and the swamps of Louisiana.  So far we think we have learned to navigate looking at the directions the branches on trees grow and could maybe start a fire with a camera or flashlight.  While they are eating snakes or iguanas we were chowing down on popcorn and baked apples with ice cream.  In the episode we are watching right now they just tried to kill an alligator after walking barefoot in a swamp infested with water moccasins.  Arthur commented, "How hungry would I have to be to take on an alligator and try to kill it with just a pointed stick?"  Hopefully we won't have to find out.  Now we are headed to our cozy bed-- not made out of sticks  and leaves with a fire to keep away large predators (although we have a headboard made from large logs).  Omnia Vincit Amor.